IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that the range of technology available to individuals is increasing the gap between the rich people and the poor people. Others think this has an opposite effect. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#people #range #technology #individuals #gap #effect
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The has been a heated debate on whether advanced
technologies
Use synonyms
increae
Correct your spelling
increase
 the
gap
Use synonyms
 between the wealthy and the poor
people
Use synonyms
. While the number of
technologies
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 changed our world dramatically, I believe developed
technologies
Use synonyms
 would shrink the
gap
Use synonyms
 between the upper class and lower class
instead
Linking Words
. On the one hand, there is no doubt that the development of
technology
Use synonyms
 benefits rich
people
Use synonyms
. The wealthy can enjoy advanced medical
technologies
Use synonyms
 and be treated by professional doctors. To be precise, an advanced cancer treatment
technology
Use synonyms
 with rare side effects compared with conventional chemotherapy cost hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, rich
people
Use synonyms
 have access to high-tech products to enhance their quality of life.
Such
Linking Words
 high-tech facilities and equipment come at a huge cost to the
people
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the wealthy can access these by spending only a tiny portion of their income.
For instance
Linking Words
, artificial intelligence, known as AI, can be applied in both households and workplaces to enhance productivity and boost profit.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I reckon that
technology
Use synonyms
 decreases the
gap
Use synonyms
 between
people
Use synonyms
 of different income levels. It is because
such
Linking Words
technologies
Use synonyms
 produce more opportunities for the poor. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, the Internet is a convincing example. Lacking adequate education resources which could be one of the reasons
people
Use synonyms
 live in poverty.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, online courses make it possible for the poor to get high quality of education. Meanwhile, the Internet is directly related to globalization. It can create chances for employment for the poor and encourages investment in less developed countries.
For example
Linking Words
, the flourishing tourism industry in Thailand produces many job vacancies for the locals and boost their economies. In conclusion, many thousands of
people
Use synonyms
 could be lifted out of poverty because of
such
Linking Words
 innovations in modern science.
Therefore
Linking Words
 I believe the
gap
Use synonyms
 between residents with kinds of economic status is decreased by modern
technology
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by lfcheng0519 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: