IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think this cannot be changes, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion.

#activity #impact #plants #animals #world #people #changes #actions #change
Man has ruthlessly misused
mother earth
Correct your spelling
Mother Earth
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. For his
needs
Add a comma
needs,
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 he has crumbled the lives of
animals
as well as
plants
 without giving a second thought to the consequences
which are
Verb problem
that
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accompanied
Wrong verb form
accompany
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with
Change preposition
apply
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it. Some of the harm can be reversed
while
 other is irreversible. Through
this
 essay, I will discuss both the belief whether the impact can be reversed or not and in
forthcoming
Correct article usage
the forthcoming
show examples
paragraph
Add a comma
paragraph,
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 I will discuss my
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
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 on it.
To begin
 with, man has been using
animals
 and
plants
 since
olden
Correct article usage
the olden
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 era. The skin of the
animals
 was used to cover
human
Add an article
the human
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 body and
wood
Correct article usage
the wood
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 of the
plants
were
Change the verb form
was
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 used to produce fire to cook food and to protect from cold. With the increasing knowledge, man has learnt to bring the best possible
use
 of both
animals
 and
plants
. Nowadays wood of
plants
 is used to make paper, herbs of the
plants
 are used for medicinal purposes,
animals
 are being hunted for recreational activities,
Correct word choice
and
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their leather is used for making multiple purposes like belts, garments and many more. Parts of
animals
 are used for ornaments
for instance
 teeth of
elephant
Add an article
the elephant
an elephant
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 used for making accessories.
Merciless
Correct article usage
The merciless
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 killing of
animls
Correct your spelling
animals
 and
use
Correct article usage
the use
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 of
plants
 are making them extinct.
Plants
use
carbon
dioxide
 for preparing food,
due to
Correct article usage
a
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decrease in the number of
plants
,
carbon
dioxide
 is not being consumed fully
hence
 it is depleting the ozone layer which is
a
Change the article
an
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 irreversible change.
However
, the negative impacts which are caused by the activities of human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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 can be reversed. By growing more
plants
, we can protect
earth
Add an article
the earth
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 from the scarcity of oxygen and pollution which is caused
due
Change preposition
by
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 to increase in the
emssion
Correct your spelling
emission
emissions
 of
carbon
dioxide
 as
plants
 take in
carbon
dioxide
 and
rerlease
Correct your spelling
release
 oxygen. We can
protect
Verb problem
prevent
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further
 extinction and endangering of
animals
 by making
use
 of
artifical
Correct your spelling
artificial
 sources
instead
 of using
animals
.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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 should impose a ban on
cutting
Correct article usage
the cutting
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 of trees and on
hunting
Correct article usage
the hunting
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 of
animals
. I strongly believe that most of the negative impact which is caused by human activities cannot be changed. Species which have become extinct cannot be brought back to life, pain that was caused to
animals
 cannot be undone. The amount of ozone layer which is depleted cannot be reversed.
Hence
, if we do not mend our ways, we are inviting a lot of
troubles
Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
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 not
for
Rephrase
only for
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animals
 and
plants
alone
Rephrase
apply
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but for ourselves as well.
Submitted by harleenkaur2806 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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