IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think this cannot be changes, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion.

#activity #impact #plants #animals #world #people #changes #actions #change
Man has ruthlessly misused mother earth. For his
needs
Add a comma
,needs
show examples
 he has crumbled the lives of
animals
 as well as
plants
 without giving a
second
 thought to the consequences which are accompanied
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 it. Some of the harm can be reversed while other is irreversible. Through
this
 essay, I will discuss both the belief whether the impact can be reversed or not and in
forthcoming
Correct article usage
the forthcoming
show examples
 paragraph I will discuss my
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
 on it.
To begin
 with, man has been using
animals
 and
plants
 since
olden
Correct article usage
the olden
show examples
 era. The skin of the
animals
 was used to cover
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 body and
wood
Correct article usage
the wood
show examples
 of the
plants
 were used to produce fire to cook food and to protect from cold. With the increasing knowledge, man has learnt to bring the best possible
use
 of both
animals
 and
plants
. Nowadays wood of
plants
 is used to make paper, herbs of the
plants
 are used for medicinal purposes,
animals
 are being hunted for recreational activities, their leather is used for making multiple purposes like belts, garments and many more. Parts of
animals
 are used for ornaments
for instance
 teeth of
elephant
Add an article
the elephant
an elephant
show examples
 is used for making accessories. Merciless killing of
animls
Correct your spelling
animals
 and
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of
plants
 are making them extinct.
Plants
use
carbon
dioxide
 for preparing food, due to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 in the number of
plants
,
carbon
dioxide
 is not being consumed fully
hence
 it is depleting the ozone layer which is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 irreversible change.
However
, the negative impacts which are caused by the activities of
human
Add an article
a human
the human
show examples
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 can be reversed. By growing more
plants
, we can protect
earth
Add an article
the earth
show examples
 from the scarcity of oxygen and pollution which is caused due to increase in the
emssion
Correct your spelling
emission
emissions
 of
carbon
dioxide
 as
plants
 take in
carbon
dioxide
 and
rerlease
Correct your spelling
release
 oxygen. We can protect
further
Change preposition
against further
show examples
 extinction and
endangering
Change the verb form
endanger
show examples
 of
animals
 by making
use
 of
artifical
Correct your spelling
artificial
 sources
instead
 of using
animals
. Government should impose a ban on
cutting
Add an article
the cutting
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
trees and on hunting
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
animals
. I strongly believe that most of the negative
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
 which is caused by human activities cannot be changed. Species
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 have become extinct cannot be brought back to life,
pain
Correct article usage
the pain
show examples
 that was caused to
animals
 cannot be undone. The amount of
ozone
Correct article usage
the ozone
show examples
 layer which is depleted cannot be reversed.
Hence
, if we do not mend our ways, we are inviting a lot of troubles not for
animals
 and
plants
 alone but for ourselves as well.
Submitted by harleenkaur2806 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: