In some countries the lifestyle of people is changing rapidly, and this affects family relationship. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #lifestyle #people #relationship #trend

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is irrefutable that in

contemporary

Add an article

the contemporary

show examples

era, The lifestyle has changed a lot due to various reasons.

Although

Linking Words

changing lifestyles of

people

Use synonyms

have brought closer in some ways,

However

Linking Words

, I still deem that its disadvantages

outweight

Correct your spelling

outweigh

the advantages. To commence with, the

first

Linking Words

pros of

tendency

Add an article

the tendency

show examples

of changing

people

Use synonyms

's lifestyle is that they become close due to the social

awarness

Correct your spelling

awareness

and they know how important of family bonding.

Also

Linking Words

, overall the burden of physical works become a less compared to past, owing to a plethora of technology helps in day to day life of

person

Add an article

a person

the person

show examples

, as a consequence,

people

Use synonyms

have

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

amount of time to spend with

family

Add an article

a family

show examples

member

Fix the agreement mistake

members

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

Remove the article

apply

show examples

research

show

Change the verb form

shows

show examples

that 20% of

invest

Replace the word

investment

show examples

time on nurture increased by individuals over the years. So, these are some merits which we can not

ignored

Change the verb form

ignore

show examples

. On the

peradoxical

Correct your spelling

paradoxical

pedagogical

side, there are many drawbacks as well,

First

Linking Words

and foremost, nowadays

people

Use synonyms

are getting

outroward

Correct your spelling

outward

and that

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

to not only

people

Use synonyms

want to leave

family

Add an article

the family

show examples

to become

indipendent

Correct your spelling

independent

quickly but

also

Linking Words

they want to explore other culture,

as a result

Linking Words

, the emotional

contect

Correct your spelling

content

contact

connect

with nurture decreased drastically. A good illustration of

this

Linking Words

is that, In

india

Change the capitalization

India

show examples

, settle in abroad is a trend

rightnow

Correct your spelling

right now

, it leads to some damage in relationship with their parents.

As a result

Linking Words

, when they getting older, no one will

there

Add a missing verb

be there

show examples

to care

Change preposition

for

show examples

them. Due to

hactic

Correct your spelling

hectic

schedule

Fix the agreement mistake

schedules

show examples

people

Use synonyms

are survive

Change the verb form

are surviving

show examples

with mental

tirdness

Correct your spelling

tiredness

, and they have nither time to take care of their family or they can not go outside for chilling.

Altogather

Correct your spelling

Altogether

, These are the viable reasons we can not

ignored

Change the verb form

ignore

show examples

. In recapitulation, I would like to reiterate that,

Although

Linking Words

lifestyle cary a good

relatrionship

Correct your spelling

relationship

with family, the disadvantage

are

Change the verb form

show examples

far too many to be ignored.

Submitted by rajnpatelb06 on Wed Sep 15 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
in spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?
Although there have been so many advancements in agricultural areas, thousands of people still suffer from hunger and not having a nutritional diet. There might be several reasons for this occasion and also there must be some solutions to solve this problem because if the advancements are not going to improve human beings’ life standards, then what are they for?
7
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development
In today’s digital age, with the advancement of technology, smartphones play a key role in our lives, and this has led to the phenomenon of some children spending a considerable amount of time on their smartphones. Therefore, this essay will explore the root causes of this trend, and I believe that this situation brings about numerous adverse impacts on children.
5.5
band
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them
Nowadays, with development of parenting method, some people argue that it is imperative for children to decide everyday matters by their own while others argue it will bring a negative impact to society as they will become selfish individuals. The following essay will discuss both points of view and present my perspective.
4.5
band
Some people believe that having sports in schools is a waste of time and resources, while others believe that sports in school are a vital part of education.
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that some people think that having sports in schools is not effective, whilst other people believe that sport in schools is very important for education. In my view, I disagree with the first belief, because sport is very vast in our life. In this essay, I will explain why sports are very essential.
5.5
band
some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In this contemporary year, acceptance or revision is one of the most common and debatable issues for individuals. A part of the community thinks that the way to obtain beneficial conclusions for various events -such as job,money,education and health- must be through endeavour whereas , a few group individuals do not want to effort for innovations. I tend to be on the same wavelength with the initial idea for the reasons, I will demonstrate below.

In some countries the lifestyle of people is changing rapidly, and this affects family relationship. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

in spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Some people believe that having sports in schools is a waste of time and resources, while others believe that sports in school are a vital part of education.

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion.