IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter -explain why you want to take time off work -give details of the amount of time you need -suggest how your work could be covered while you are away

#company #time #work #manager #-explain #-give #amount #-suggest
Dear Sarah, Hope you are well. I am writing
this
 email to you that I would like to use 5 days of my annual leave next week. I got a phone call from my sister
this
 morning. She told me that my brother-in-law had a traffic accident
last
 night and she needs to take care of him in the hospital for the whole next week,
therefore
, she asked my help to look after her two young children during that time. I will try to complete my walkthrough paper on scope 1 by the end of today. As Pankaj is the backup of my work, I will
also
 email him a list of handover tasks and put you in the CC loop by the end of tomorrow. About the ongoing risk assessment work, I think it is better to ask for your support to continue the discussion with the Head of Anti-Bribery and Corruption. I will log my leave application in Workday. Hope you can approve it in the system. Thanks. Your faithfully. SJ
Submitted by shaojiedang on

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greeting and closing
Ensure that the greeting and closing are in line with formal letter conventions. A more formal sign-off, such as 'Kind regards' or 'Yours sincerely,' would be more suitable in this context.
logical structure
Try to develop a clearer logical structure. Use linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly.
single idea per paragraph
Maintain the same idea within each paragraph and consider using clear topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
complete response
Your response covers the three points requested but refine your explanations by providing a bit more detail and elaboration where possible.
suitable writing tone
Use a more consistently formal tone throughout the letter, paying attention to the phrases and expressions that match formal writing requirements.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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