Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some
sportsmen
who are good at their speciality can get enormous
salaries
while other triumphant individuals earn less
money
. A number of
people
are discussing that whether
this
situation is fair or not.
Sport
is an international subject around the world and
sportsmen
’s earnings is the most argued issue, yet
people
should consider other crucial facts that affect our lives at least. In my opinion, there is an unfair payment when comparing
people
who are dealing with
sport
and the other professionals. On the one hand, It is accepted that
salaries
or wages that are given to the
sportsmen
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
not
great
Change the article
a great
show examples
deal of
money
.
This
is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
important issue, because some strong and rich
people
, who want to improve
Correct article usage
the sport
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
sector and provide fresh blood to teams when other
people
’s
thought
Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
show examples
are nearly these are unnecessary points, have
enthusiasm
Change the article
the enthusiasm
show examples
to carry
sport
Add an article
the sport
show examples
to
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
position. Nobody wants to see that
sport
has a decreasing trend.
In addition
, sports professionals have
really
Add an article
a really
the really
show examples
risky and hard
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
show examples
. They have to be agile while they are performing.
For instance
, my brother who is a soccer player should play his game attractive and while he is fast and strong, he might get wounded by other players. Earning more
money
appear like a big deal to other
people
, but
Correct article usage
the sport
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
sector must
be grow
Change the verb form
be grown
be growing
show examples
and
sportmen
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
should feel themselves
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
safe
Add an article
the safe
a safe
show examples
side.
On the other hand
, some
people
are believe
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
that there are unfair wages is given to
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
professionals. For the reason that, while a plethora of
people
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
discussing
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
giving more
salaries
and wages to
sportsmen
, the rest of the world
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
struggling to be alive or trying to save lives.
For example
, there are food
crisis
Fix the agreement mistake
crises
show examples
, water problems and other health problems in South Africa and in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
hard conditions, the majority of profit that gained from
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
activities
such
as
sport
must be sent to these territories.
Moreover
, there are many professions that
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
important than sports,
such
as
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
sector. A friend of mine is a doctor in
state
Add an article
a state
the state
show examples
hospital and he
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
half of a basketball player. It
is really does
Change the verb form
really does
show examples
not worth it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they save
Correct your spelling
lives
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
and they deserve more attention and
salaries
. Giving more attention to other populations is make our world more equal. In conclusion,
although
a number of
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
aim
Change the article
the aim
show examples
to spend
money
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
sportsmen
’s huge
salaries
, others
priority
Add an article
a priority
show examples
is being alive in the hard geographies and treat
people
who need support. I believe that if communities pay enough attention to the
sportsmen
and
be
Change the verb form
are
show examples
aware of the rest of the crowd’s struggles, all
people
might live one and the same.
Submitted by basakdiclesahin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial remuneration
  • exceptional
  • merit
  • talent
  • demand
  • entertainment value
  • career span
  • physical demands
  • justified
  • unfair
  • criticism
  • income inequality
  • societal priorities
  • sportsmanship
What to do next:
Look at other essays: