IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people dislike change in their society and in their own lives and want things to stay the same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive?

#people #dislike #change #society #lives
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Earlier,
people
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 were more open to changes and embraced them without hesitation, but in today’s world, many
individuals
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 prefer things to stay monotonous in their lives and society. Not only the reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 resistance to
change
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 will be discussed, but the positive aspects of embracing
change
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 will
also
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 be highlighted. The prime reason some
individuals
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 resist
change
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 is the sense of security and stability provided by familiarity. When
people
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 stick to established routines or societal norms, they feel a greater sense of control over their lives and are less vulnerable to the uncertainties that
change
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 often brings. Stability offers predictability, which many find comforting, especially in times of economic or social uncertainty.
Also
Linking Words
, humans are naturally resistant to uncertainty, as it often involves stepping into uncharted territory without a guaranteed outcome.
This
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 aversion to risk can make
people
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 view
change
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 as unnecessary or even threatening, causing them to cling to the status quo. Another significant reason is the disruption it brings to established social relationships and routines.
Change
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 often requires
individuals
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 to adjust to new environments, which can create a sense of isolation or alienation from their existing support systems. To cite an example, many students studying abroad in countries like Canada face initial resistance to cultural adaptation, as they struggle with language barriers, new social norms, and a lack of familiar relationships, often longing to return to their comfort zones.
However
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, any kind of shift should be regarded as a positive force, as it enables adaptability and fosters creativity in both societal and personal contexts. In society, adapting to
change
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 allows communities to remain competitive and resilient in an ever-evolving world. It encourages innovation by pushing
individuals
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 and organizations to think differently and develop new solutions to emerging challenges. By embracing
change
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, societies can improve systems, enhance efficiency, and overcome obstacles, ultimately leading to progress and a higher quality of life. On a personal level,
change
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 provides
individuals
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 with opportunities to grow and discover their potential. It encourages
people
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 to step out of their comfort zones, fostering skills
such
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 as problem-solving, adaptability, and resilience.
Moreover
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, accepting
change
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 helps
individuals
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 build emotional intelligence and confidence, enabling them to navigate uncertainties more effectively.
For instance
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, in India, the rapid growth of the IT sector has required many workers to adapt by learning new technologies,
such
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 as artificial intelligence and cloud computing.
This
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 shift has allowed
individuals
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 to upskill, advance their careers, and become part of a globally competitive workforce, demonstrating how
change
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 can lead to personal and professional development.
Submitted by gurdeepssd2021 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure paragraphs transition smoothly. Use clear linking words or phrases to connect ideas between paragraphs.
task achievement
Support each main point with more detailed examples or data where possible to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task by addressing reasons for resistance to change and the benefits of change.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, framing the essay effectively.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples like students studying abroad and the IT sector in India to illustrate points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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