Your mentor recommended you to learn a new language and gave you contact details of a teacher. Write a letter to a techer

#mentor #language #contact #teacher #techer

Dear Madam, I hope

this

letter finds you in good health. I am writing

this

letter regarding learning a new

language

, as I want to become a multi-

language

person,

due to

this

, my mentor told me about the best coaching centre where I can learn a new

language

. My teacher shared

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

all

information

Correct article usage

the information

show examples

through WhatsApp including contact details, location and other informative things. I am planning to move abroad for my

further

studies, I want to improve my skills

while

learning the French

language

Furthermore

, I am fluent in English, and in

this

language

, I communicate very well with others which is a strong point for me. Despite that, I want to learn the French

language

because

this

language

is the second most popular

language

abroad, and I

also

applied online for a job where learning French is compulsory.

Moreover

, I will be ready to learn

this

language

as soon as possible. When my mentor shared

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

contact details with me , at that time, I registered with an institution and visited it. I

requested

Wrong verb form

request

show examples

you to provide mewith

aseparate

Correct your spelling

a separate

separate

room as I am a beginner learner of French and start classes from tomorrow. Thank you for replying to me in a short time. Sincerely yours, Raj.

Submitted by kaurgillrajveer29l on Sun Sep 22 2024

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coherence

In some areas, the text feels slightly disjointed due to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For instance, 'I want to become a multi-language person' could be rephrased to 'I want to become multilingual.' Work on refining these areas for smoother readability.

coherence

Try to maintain a single idea per paragraph for better clarity. For instance, the paragraph discussing your fluency in English and reasons for learning French could be split into two separate paragraphs.

task response

Ensure to avoid any repetition of ideas. For example, you mentioned wanting to learn French due to its popularity and requirement for a job twice. Consolidate these points for a sharper focus.

task response

You have effectively conveyed your purpose for writing the letter and included important details like your fluency in English and the urgency to start learning French.

coherence

Your greeting and closing are polite and appropriate for the formal tone required in such a letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

209 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Your mentor recommended you to learn a new language and gave you contact details of a teacher. Write a letter to a techer

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone app is becoming increasingly common. Does these development have more advantages or disadvantages?

Some countries import a large amount of food from other parts of the world. To what extend is this a positive or negative trend?

Some countries have introduced laws to limit the working hours that an employer can ask from an employee. Why are these law introduced? Is this a positive or negative trend?

With recent developments in technology like e-books, some people feel that printed media like books, newspaper and magazines will soon be a thing of the past. Others feel that these forms of media will never disappear. What is your opinion?

Some people believe that it is good for a country’s culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.