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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Nowadays, many diseases stem from over-consumption of processed foods which contain a significantly high proportion of
sugar
Use synonyms
. It is reasonable to increase the
price
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 of these
sugar
Use synonyms
-based products, which may be beneficial for
people
Use synonyms
’s health.
Body paragraph 1
One
Use synonyms
 of the main reasons for eating too much
sugar
Use synonyms
 is that
such
Linking Words
 products have a lower cost. In many restaurants in the United States, customers are able to have free refills when buying beverages
such
Linking Words
 as cokes or sodas.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 have two or three glasses of coke for their meal. If restaurants stop offering free refills and increase
20
Correct article usage
the 20
show examples
% of tax on these sugary ones,
people
Use synonyms
 are more likely to stop drinking
one
Use synonyms
 at all, let alone have a
second
Linking Words
one
Use synonyms
.
Increasing
Add an article
The increasing
show examples
Use synonyms
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
 of
sugar
Use synonyms
-based products might help to save a large number of
people
Use synonyms
 from obesity and diabetes, which are the most common health problems in recent years.
Body paragraph 2
This
Linking Words
price
Use synonyms
 regulation may
also
Linking Words
 promote
people
Use synonyms
 to choose a healthier alternative.
This
Linking Words
 is because if the
price
Use synonyms
 rises to the point which is quite expensive, customers may consider buying it infrequently,
instead
Linking Words
, they may opt for a more affordable
one
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a strawberry-flavoured beverage cost three times as a box of fresh strawberries, consumers may go for the fresh version, which is cheaper and healthier. Fresh fruits
also
Linking Words
 have
sugar
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, natural
sugar
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 is much better than the added
one
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.
Conclusion
To conclude, I am
one
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 of the proponents that increasing the cost of sweetened processed food may deter
people
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 from using it regularly.
This
Linking Words
 will be beneficial for their well-being in the long run by reducing the number of
sugar
Use synonyms
-related health problems.

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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