IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that a person's culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that has only a minor influence. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #person #culture #country #origin #influence
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
people
Use synonyms
 argue that an individual’s ethnic personalities and other special
indentifical
Correct your spelling
identical
 issues are affected by their hometowns directly. Yet, geographical effects are how important on
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
cultural development of a person whether fully crucial or not. In my opinion,
country
Use synonyms
 of origin is playing
enormous
Add an article
an enormous
the enormous
show examples
 role to define
communuties’
Correct your spelling
communities
culture
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
People’s
Use synonyms
 ethnic identifies and their main countries are not be
helded
Correct your spelling
held
seperately
Correct your spelling
separately
. On the one hand, a number of
people
Use synonyms
 accepted that a person’s
culture
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not affected directly
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 their
country
Use synonyms
 of origin. As a reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 thought, adults create their language, abilities and other
identifical
Correct your spelling
identical
identifiable
 facts by themselves.
For instance
Linking Words
, a friend of mine who is living in Turkey is from Germany, but she get used to
live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Turkish public as well. She does not cook any German traditional foods and she does not
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
 any German conventional songs. She carries only a lack of believes from her homeland when she
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
 time with her relatives. The cultural
identify
Replace the word
identity
show examples
 is not a reflection of
Use synonyms
people’s
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
 because
people
Use synonyms
 have a vital qualification: adaptation.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
Use synonyms
people’s
Use synonyms
 own
culture
Use synonyms
 and their
country
Use synonyms
 of origin is
inseperable
Correct your spelling
inseparable
 facts.
This
Linking Words
 is because
people
Use synonyms
 get used to
talk
Change the verb form
talking
show examples
, behave and live like what they gain features from their
geograpghy
Correct your spelling
geography
 and these consequences can not change easily. As
a
Change the article
an
show examples
essantial
Correct your spelling
essential
 example, my mother is from Istanbul,
although
Linking Words
 she has been living since 1990 in Moscow and her abilities are the same
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 other Turkish
people
Use synonyms
.
Communuties
Correct your spelling
Communities
are reflect
Change the verb form
are reflecting
show examples
attitutes
Correct your spelling
attitudes
 of their countries where they come from. In conclusion, a person’s
culture
Use synonyms
 is affected by their homeland, but
density
Add an article
the density
show examples
 of effect
is depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on
Use synonyms
people’s
Use synonyms
 personal characters. In some cases, individuals
are directly show
Change the verb form
are directly showing
show examples
 their state’s cultural effects,
on the contrary
Linking Words
, in some
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are affected
negligible
Change the adjective
negligibly
show examples
 when comparing with each other.
Submitted by basakdiclesahin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: