IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more developing countries are expanding their tourist industries. Why is this? Is it a positive or a negative development?

#countries #tourist #industries #development
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Developing countries need to use various strategies to boost their economy, with
tourism
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 proving to be
one
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 of the most successful industries. Expanding the tourist industry can have both positive and negative developments. Improving
tourism
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 holds several advantages for nations.
One
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 of the benefits of improving
tourism
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 is the potential result of
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 reputation
of
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for
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one
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's nation. When tourists enjoy visiting
one
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's nation, they will share good reviews of their experience through word of mouth and
consequently
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 encourage more people to travel there. By attracting visitors from other nations, host nations can provide more business to local organisations, developing local talents and promoting the use of their goods and services. That can increase the quality of life and job
satisfication
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satisfaction
 of its citizens.
On the other hand
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, too much
tourism
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 can have adverse effects as well. The increase in demand for businesses in the
tourism
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 sector could reduce the attention paid towards organisations that are not in
this
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 sector. If a country proves to be an extremely attractive travel destination, local businesses would be unable to keep up with higher demand
as a result
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 of
imbalance
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an imbalance
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with
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of
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 supplies and resources. The reduction in attention
together with
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 the high numbers of people can result in
a
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apply
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lower life satisfaction for local inhabitants.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the tourist industry can have both pros and cons depending on how much and in what ways it is expanded. Governments of various countries should listen to local voices before making major decisions on the expansion of their tourist industries.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Grammar and Style
Ensure diverse sentence structures for enhanced readability.
Vocabulary
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary specific to the topic for a more nuanced argument.
Content Depth
Consider using more explicit examples to substantiate your claims, which can further illustrate the impacts of tourism on developing countries.
Structure
You have presented a well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, effectively guiding the reader through your argument.
Task Response
You've effectively addressed both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the task requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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