IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #money #poverty #aid
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Helping others is one of the greatest virtues and rich
countries
Use synonyms
 can do help
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
poor
countries
Use synonyms
 in
a different ways
Correct the article-noun agreement
different ways
a different way
show examples
. Presently, an argument has been put forward that economically stable
nations
Use synonyms
 assist developing
nations
Use synonyms
 with financial support but it does not solve the primary issue of poverty.
That is
Linking Words
 why
other kind
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another kind
other kinds
show examples
 of help should be given to undeveloped
countries
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. In my opinion, rich
countries
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 can provide healthcare facilities, advanced education
system
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systems
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 to poor
countries
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. There
are
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is
show examples
enormous
Add an article
the enormous
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reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 why people think that providing other types of amenities to developing states is the best way to do help. One is that wealthy
nations
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 can transfer goods and food to poorer areas to reduce the high level of poverty and starvation as well as they can establish organizations to provide modern facilities like advanced education, healthcare facilities and so on. Another factor is that developed
nations
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 can provide job opportunities
also
Linking Words
 as they can open factories, multinational companies in poor
countries
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. If these organizations are
built in
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built-in
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 economically states, they will get employment, which will definitely
Add a missing verb
be helpful
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helpful
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help
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 to develop the economy of undeveloped
countries
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. On the other side, giving financial aid is fruitful for developing
countries
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 as country leader knows that where and how much money needs to be invested.
However
Linking Words
, sometimes it is not beneficial because it may
creates
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create
show examples
 the risk of corruption and make the citizens lethargic of undeveloped states
also
Linking Words
. Since people of poor
countries
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 will depend on rich
countries
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 in every implication. To conclude, as per my above discussion, I opine that wealthy
nations
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 should build educational institutions, MNCs, hospitals in economically developing
countries
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 to mitigate the problem of poverty.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they should provide help in
such
Linking Words
 ways
instead
Linking Words
 of financial support.
Submitted by pardeep.brar52 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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