IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #countryside #cities #towns #development
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Certain
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A certain
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 amount of youth
have
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has
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 been tending to shift urban areas while letting only elders
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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live in the villages.
However
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, the influx of youths to larger cities have optimistic points on
development
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,
although
Linking Words
 significant negative impacts have been arising with
mentioned
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the mentioned
a mentioned
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 issue.
This
Linking Words
 essay will incline with the latter view and I will mention
both
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 positive and negative impacts while giving proper arguments. Anticipating a better life, the trend of
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation crossing born borders towards urban capitals has been creating notable
issues
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 in
both
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 social and developmental aspects. The low youth workforce in rural areas drastically increasing, where
begin
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to begin
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 with agriculture and industrials
labor
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labour
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 force,
Linking Words
moreover
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,moreover
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 extend to innovative
enterpreneurships
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entrepreneurship
 and
in
Linking Words
contrast
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,contrast
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 it has been creating enormous competition to the limited resources in urban areas, which highly impact on sustainable
development
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 of a country. Rather than developmental matters, sensible social and personal
issues
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 have been creating which directly involve in
mental
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the mental
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wellbeing
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well-being
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 of elders
whom
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who
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 live alone in the countryside , like elderly depressions, anxiety disorders, Bipolar disorders which leads
person
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a person
the person
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 to serious physical health
issues
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 like Insomnia, High blood pressure and strokes.
Therefore
Linking Words
, adolescents moving towards
capitals
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capital
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 have been creating tremendous
issues
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 in
both
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 quantitative and qualitative aspects of the
development
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 of a country.
Conversely
Linking Words
, influx youth towards metropolitan have positive outcomes which grow an individual in
both
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 personal and social forms. As they have more access to higher studies and career
development
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, youths have been enforcing with skills and experience whom ready to compete with
world
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the world
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 by knowledge and talents rather being trapped to locally or regionally. To conclude, though the young generation moving towards capitals by leaving
olders
Correct your spelling
holders
 at countryside have been reaching its climax , by improving infrastructures and opportunities on born sites will give fair solution to
both
Use synonyms
 younger and older generations to overcome negatives while improving the positives to the
soceity
Correct your spelling
society
city
.
Submitted by anuradhabandara2011 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • migration
  • economic opportunities
  • urban areas
  • rural industries
  • cultural heritage
  • overpopulation
  • infrastructure
  • healthcare facilities
  • educational institutions
  • neglect
  • workforce
  • traditional cultures
  • customs
  • pollution
  • support systems
What to do next:
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