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Band 5

Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possible. While others think that it should not start until 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #education #children #years #age
education
 is the fundamental right given to all the citizens of the country. formal
education
 should be given to
children
an
Change preposition
at an
show examples
 early
age
 in order to secure a state future. Admission
age
 remains a debatable issue amongst scholars and intellectuals despite that they reached a mutual consensus to remain under 3 years. early
education
provide
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provides
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 many opportunities because it allows parents to channelize their
children
 from a young
age
.
age
 factor
help
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helps
show examples
 them to gain knowledge & skill so that they can perform better in their adulthood
age
.
for
example
Add a comma
,example
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 a student can learn a foreign language or any sports right from the beginning
besides
 that he can master any subject in his 20's. the phenomenon of earlier studies is beneficial though it is opposed by many
child
 activists.
child
activist
Fix the agreement mistake
activists
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 claim that early studies affect
children
 in
such
 a way that they feel frustrated and have mental trauma. childhood is an
age
 to play sleep and play again it is the privilege of every
child
 to enjoy his childhood without any compulsion. people want to get rid of
children
 due to their stressful working hours so they prefer to put young
children
 in schools. in my opinion, the conventional approach should be followed to allow young
children
 to learn things
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 younger
age
. proper rules should be followed and provide proper facilitation to
children
. in conclusion , late
education
 can hamper
career
Correct article usage
the career
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 opportunities of
child
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children
show examples
 and it can lead to
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unemployment
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un-employment
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unemployment
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 . it is evident that an adult would face
financial
Add an article
a financial
the financial
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problem
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problems
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 which can de-stabilise the ;
ife
Correct your spelling
life
 of
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
Submitted by bhinder7780 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Social interactions
  • Formative years
  • Curiosity
  • Structured environments
  • Preschool activities
  • Unstructured play
  • Developmental pace
  • Emotional and social skills
  • Undue stress and pressure
  • Natural development
  • Informal learning methods
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