One of the consquences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantacges of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is indeed a fact that the evolution in

healthcare

Add an article

the healthcare

The noun phrase healthcare sector seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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sector has

lengthen

Change the verb form

lengthened

It appears that the verb lengthen should be in the past participle form. Consider changing it.

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the life span of individuals.

This

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will discuss how despite few minor drawbacks the advantages of

longer

Correct article usage

a longer

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life duration are stronger than its demerits. On the one hand, one of the potential disadvantages of the expansion in life duration of people is

Correct your spelling

overpopulation

The word over population seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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over population

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overpopulation

The word over population seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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This

Linking Words

is because despite severe diseases many people survive for many years due to the efficient healthcare they receive which declines the death rate significantly.

However

Linking Words

, the birth rate remains constant or incline.

As a result

Linking Words

, the population increases in a destructive manner.

For instance

Linking Words

, an average individual in China who

recieve

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receive

received

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best in class medical facilities survives about 90 to 100 years.

This

Linking Words

has increased the population of the nation.

on the other hand

Linking Words

ankit.hartThu Sep 16 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

133 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
medical care
disease management
surgical techniques
economic growth
workforce
family bonds
social contribution
healthcare systems
chronic disease
geriatric care
pension systems
resource allocation
quality of life

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One of the consquences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantacges of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Mobile phones and the internet could have many benefits for older adults. However, this age group uses technology the least. What are the benefits for older adults of using mobile phones and the internet? How can we encourage them to use this new technology?

More and more children are accessing the Internet unsupervised. This can sometimes put them at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the Internet? How can this problem be solved?

Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Death penalty is still practiced in jurisdiction system of many countries. Some people believe that this type of punishment should be abolished. However, others are of opposite opinion. Discuss both sides of this debate and give your own opinion

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.