IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that because children find subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult, they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. To what extent do you agree?

#people #children #subjects #mathematics #philosophy
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
All
subjects
Use synonyms
 which are taught in school, have their own importance, which helps in fundamental developments of the pupils. In spite of being a few drawbacks, it seems that educational organizations should give possibilities of selections of difficult
subjects
Use synonyms
 like mathematics and philosophy for children who have enough mindset of making decisions. I think life is full of choices
such
Linking Words
 as what would you rather and what do you want to do. Many famous and rich businessmen have told quotes about how the importance of freedom to select, as well as for opting right, good decisions will be affected your life dramatically. It shows that the subject selection may follow better results than we thought.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it appears that educational establishments should change into a more flexible mode
instead
Linking Words
 of compulsory and conventional.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
subjects
Use synonyms
, which are taught in mandatory mode, are essential for our everyday life. If we chose gymnastics
instead
Linking Words
 of math and language lessons, we won’t be able to count and buy things, as well as read famous novels. To add more, now particularly, everything around the world can be expressed by data and numbers,
also
Linking Words
 data science based on math is becoming more essential because we are in transition to the technological era in recent. So, fundamental lessons that are taught compulsorily is the beginning point to reach our future job prospect and career. In brief, it would be great that the education system should provide a wide range of options to children as soon as they get enough knowledge of lessons which are called general
subjects
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, parents and guardians can help to select
subjects
Use synonyms
 for their children who couldn’t define clearly “what subject want to learn”.
Submitted by mgl2666 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: