IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?

#businesses #budgets #promotion #people #gravitate #products
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
many big industries will allocate a certain amount for advertising their
products
Use synonyms
 in many ways, Which
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
 in attracting more public to purchase them.
Thus
Linking Words
, many individuals would love to buy the
products
Use synonyms
 which they see.
However
Linking Words
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 issues
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 buying the
product
Use synonyms
 from a huge organization
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
rather than buying the
product
Use synonyms
 from the regional industries. The following paragraph will discuss the problems and solutions. The major disadvantage is to get the service and maintenance of the purchased stock.
To get
Change the verb form
Getting
show examples
 proper support from larger businesses is quite difficult as they are the main process to be followed and it can cause more damage to the
product
Use synonyms
 and
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
,
Correct article usage
a
show examples
result it will be a
lose
Replace the word
loss
show examples
to the individual.
for example
Linking Words
, Many would love to buy
iPhone
Fix the agreement mistake
iPhones
show examples
 from
gulf
Capitalize word
Gulf
show examples
 countries rather than purchasing in the local shops which provide the same iPhone, once the iPhone gets any issues it would be very challenging to get it repaired
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
local
Change the word
locally
show examples
 because
some time
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
 the shop owners may not be aware of the configuration it contains and
due to
Linking Words
 some security reasons.
Second,
Linking Words
the local economy will suffer
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of jobs
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the surrounding crowd and ultimately the local
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
need to be shut
.
Change preposition
down.
show examples
 When most of us prefer to buy larger management
products
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 there will be no jobs created for the rural
people
Use synonyms
 and less payment will be given to them will impact
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the growth of these
people
Use synonyms
. In order to encourage the
people
Use synonyms
 to buy the local items.
Firstly
Linking Words
, do a survey in the region on which
products
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 are willing to purchase and offer the
products
Use synonyms
 with
fewer
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
 prices so that everyone
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 afford
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
,
secondly
Linking Words
, create awareness that repair and maintenance can be done
with in
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
 the same region so that they do not have to spend more time on it.
thirdly
Linking Words
, review the feedback of the
products
Use synonyms
 and amend it in the organization so that it will create a positive attitude among the local region. In conclusion, an organization with a higher budget has different ways of
show
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
 casting the
products
Use synonyms
result
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
 in getting the attention of many
people
Use synonyms
, and there are some problems as well,
thus
Linking Words
, I believe that for
people
Use synonyms
 to
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
local
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
need to create more awareness and has many advantages as seen in the above.
Submitted by Barmagml on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • over-reliance
  • disrupts
  • entrepreneurship
  • economic diversity
  • monopolistic
  • financial power
  • homogenization
  • awareness campaigns
  • tax incentives
  • sustainability
  • artisan
  • eco-friendly
  • dominate
  • innovation
  • stifle
  • richness
  • cultures
  • traditions
  • highlighting
  • distinguish
  • superior
What to do next:
Look at other essays: