The education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

nowadays,
education
is consider
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is considered
show examples
an important factor in many countries and many developing countries would like to educate the adults who have missed the opportunity of going to school at a younger
age
,
However
, some budget is required to spend on it. I agree with the given statement as it has many positive aspects of providing
education
.
Firstly
, I will help many mid-ageing individuals to find a job in the market,
Many
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
people who
has
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have
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miss
Change the verb form
missed
show examples
the opportunity of going to school during primary
age
due to lack of proper
infracstructure
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
and some financial issues. They would like to study and find a job in an organization.
This
will help them to support
thier
Correct your spelling
their
familes
Correct your spelling
families
and have a better standard of living, Which eventually has any
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
development in the country economy.
Secondly
, The
government
has to provide a proper
education
system by
bulding
Correct your spelling
building
and providing some financial support to them, By giving them some view of the
furture
Correct your spelling
future
and job opportunity so
this
will encourage them to study .
For example
, In
japan
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Japan
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, the
government
has
spend
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spent
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some budget to educate their
middle
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middle-age
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age
population by providing them
some
Add the preposition
with some
show examples
certification
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
. Which will help them to get certain specific jobs and
supported
Add a missing verb
be supported
show examples
with some loans
,
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apply
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so that they can do their own business. Overall, the
government
had
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tohad
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spend
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
budget
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
educating the adults.
However
,
Many
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
adults would not like to study after a certain
age
. Because they might have settled well in the family business. Spending money on the construction of school buildings and hiring teachers can be a loss to the
government
and can impact the country growth. To conclude, providing an
education
for people who can not read and write is very essential, as it will help individuals and society for better living and can have a positive impact on the country.
Submitted by Barmagml on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • literacy programs
  • functional illiteracy
  • social mobility
  • inter-generational poverty
  • workforce development
  • economic growth
  • social cohesion
  • public health
  • civic participation
  • resource allocation
  • national development
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