Shopping is the favourite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

#favourite #pastime #people #activities

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Shopping is one of the most preferred ways to spend leisure time among the younger population,

however

, I strongly think that these individuals should

also

pursue other activities as well.

This

essay will discuss both of these views and give explanations to support my argument.

To begin

, there are several potential reasons that can make shopping the favourite way for the youth to spend their pastime.

Firstly

, the act of shopping can act as a coping mechanism that these individuals often employ as a method to reduce stress and relax.

For example

, spending time with their peers and engaging in events outside of working hours at commercial centres can significantly stimulate positive energy,

therefore

, allowing them to recharge and relieve pressure from the workplaces.

Moreover

, getting involved in tasks to shop can be a way for youth to express themselves and establish their identity.

For instance

, through the act of purchasing different clothing items, the younger generation can convey their culture, their values and express their taste in fashion.

On the other hand

although

shopping has proven to be very popular among the younger generation, I think it is necessary that they

also

participate In other tasks that can be beneficial for them. Young people can take part in active sports or physical activities in a group setting. These events can enable them to strengthen their body and mind while

also

create opportunities for them to make new friends and learn how to work in a team.

Moreover

, engaging in other hobbies will

also

allow these individuals to expand their knowledge and gain a more comprehensive understanding of their surrounding environment

For instance

, joining science clubs can help the young to discover exciting knowledge of the world and encourage them to pursue a career in STEM in the future. In conclusion, there are several factors that propel young people to shop in their unoccupied time,

however

, I believe that they should restrict themselves to certain levels in

this

engagement and pursuit other hobbies as well that can be beneficial for them in the long run.

Submitted by phunglamphuong on Fri Sep 17 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

345 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In recent years, cosmetic surgery has become a trend since the number of people having that operation has surged every year. Mostly, each of them wants to get a new look which will boost their appearance. In this essay, I try to provide an explanation of phenomenon.
4.5
band
Band 9: in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The provided bar graph illustrates the data on the number of trips made by children in a particular country in 1990 and 2010 for different modes of transport when traveling to and from school.
7
band
Topic: More people today prefer to live alone in comparison to the past. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development . Give your opinion and relevant examples to support your views.
There is a trend among adults nowadays to stay single comparing previous decades. However, in this essay, I would illustrate that it is a negative development. Although this model of behaviour has two main negative factors. The first is the decreasing population of the Nation, the second is decreased economic items.
7
band
Some researchers believe that all children need to learn a musical instrument as part of their education. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
From the past to present, musical instruments always play an important role in our life, recently there have been some researchers proving that learning a musical instrument may bring a lot of advantages, so some suggest that a musical instrument course should be added to education. From my perspective, I agree with this statement to some extent. In this essay, I will discuss it.
4
band
Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
nowdays, in the very fast and strong growing global economy is promoting businesses to be established to earn income. Some people think that the income should be invested in hospitals and schools and some individuals think that the money should be invested in high-rise buildings.

Shopping is the favourite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Band 9: in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Topic: More people today prefer to live alone in comparison to the past. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development . Give your opinion and relevant examples to support your views.

Some researchers believe that all children need to learn a musical instrument as part of their education. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.