IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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I totally agree with the opinion that
children
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 need to learn the difference between
right
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 and wrong at an early age.
However
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, I strongly believe that physical punishment is not the
right
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 way to teach
this
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.
Instead
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,
children
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 should be taught through explanation and guidance by their parents and teachers.To help
children
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 understand what is
right
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 and wrong, it is important to give them clear explanations. Simply telling
children
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 what is wrong is not enough; they need to understand why certain behaviours are not acceptable.
For example
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, explaining why it’s wrong to hit others helps
children
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 develop empathy, rather than just punishing them.
This
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 way, they can make better decisions in the future. Some families use harmful punishments,
such
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 as not feeding their
children
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 or physically hurting them. Psychologists say these methods do not help
children
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 learn
,
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apply
show examples
 but
instead
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 cause fear and confusion.
Children
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 may repeat the wrong behaviour because they don't understand why it is wrong in the first place.
Instead
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 of physical punishment, parents and teachers should use other methods of discipline.
For example
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, time-outs, taking away privileges, or explaining the consequences of their actions can be more effective. Rewarding good behaviour is
also
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 important, as it encourages
children
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 to continue making positive choices. In conclusion,
while
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 discipline is necessary to teach
children
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right
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 from wrong, it should always be done in a way that helps them understand their actions. Education, not punishment, is the key to raising
children
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 who make responsible and thoughtful decisions.

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task response
Though your main arguments are clear, consider developing them further with additional specific examples, especially from your own knowledge or experience, to enrich your essay and make it more persuasive.
task response
Try to elaborate on your argument against physical punishment by citing alternative disciplinary methods that have proven effective. This can increase the depth of your discussion.
coherence
While your essay is well-structured, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next to improve overall coherence. Consider adding linking phrases to enhance the flow.
coherence
Your conclusion is strong, but reinforcing your central points with more clarity might help in leaving a lasting impact. Consider summarizing the key alternatives to physical punishment.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction clearly presents your stance on the topic, setting a strong base for your argument.
introduction conclusion
The essay concludes effectively, reaffirming your viewpoint on the importance of education over punishment in teaching children right from wrong.
logical structure
You have effectively argued against physical punishment by suggesting alternative methods of discipline, which addresses the task.
supported main points
Your essay maintains a consistent focus on educating children through understanding rather than punishment, demonstrating depth in task achievement.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Moral development
  • Positive reinforcement
  • Negative reinforcement
  • Behavioral psychology
  • Disciplinary methods
  • Corporal punishment
  • Psychological effects
  • Authoritative parenting
  • Permissive parenting
  • Behavioural correction
  • Ethical considerations
  • Legal frameworks
  • Cognitive development
  • Social norms
  • Character building
  • Restorative practices
  • Authoritarian approach
  • Constructive criticism
  • Pro-social behavior
  • Conditioning
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