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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement.

#government #money #railways #roads
It is often said that the
funds
 should be allocated for the development of
railways
instead
 of roadways. I strongly disagree with the statement and
this
 essay will discuss the reasons for my disagreement.
Firstly
, the reason why the money should be utilized by the
government
 on
roads
instead
 of
railways
 is the scope of development
in
Correct your spelling
inroads
show examples
roads
. It means the
railways
 at present, are well developed and established all across the nations and requires no immediate
funds
 for
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 advancement. The
roads
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
, are used by the majority of people to commute distances and can be constructed to those remote locations where the railroads cannot be established.
For instance
, the
funds
 allocated for the construction of
roads
 in inaccessible areas of Leh and Laddakh have connected those locations with
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of the cities where people can reside or visit to spend their leisure time.
Secondly
, unlike
railways
, the
roads
 require frequent maintenance as they become damaged by their intensive utilization as well as by the harsh weather conditions which is why the
funds
 should be spent on
roads
 by the
government
.
For instance
, the conditions of
roads
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 highly compromised in India that requires immediate repair for which the
government
 must allocate a huge chunk of
funds
 towards it in order to avoid road rages which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 increasing every year.
Therefore
, unlike
railways
, the advancement of
roads
 is imperative and requires fund allocation. Conclusively, money must be spent on the development of
roads
 by the
government
 as it
connents
Correct your spelling
connects
comments
 all the parts of a nation and considering its average current condition, an immediate repair and advancement
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 required.
Submitted by ankit.hart on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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