Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged .Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more more useful adult's. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

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While some persons advocate that youngsters should be motivated to compete amongst themselves,others argue that, for young ones to become adults who are useful, co-operation should be encouraged rather than competition.
This
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essay will discuss both aspects of the discussion and provide my opinion with a reasonable conclusion. Admittedly, some people feel that infants should be persuaded to compete within themselves in order for each of them to thrive. Some toddlers do not feel
encourage
Change the verb form
encouraged
show examples
to succeed until they see their peers become successful
hence
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encouraging
children
Use synonyms
to be in competition amongst themselves will help them
excell
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excel
in their
endeavors
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endeavours
show examples
.
For example
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,In my experience as a teacher in primary school ,
children
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who were not performing well in their academics became one of the best pupils when prizes were being given for best students in various subjects.
Nonetheless
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, making
children
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adults who will eventually become useful is the profound benefit of teaching them to co-operate with themselves because they learn from one another and I agree.When
children
Use synonyms
are educated on co-operating together, they tend to exchange and adopt useful ideas while dropping
idealogies
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ideologies
that will not make them succeed.
This
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will have positive impacts on the ones that are not doing well in their endeavours thereby causing them to flourish so as to become useful for themselves in the future.
For instance
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, a child who was known for failure could become successful as long as his peers form
alliance
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an alliance
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with him. To conclude,
although
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encouraging
competiton
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competition
among adolescents could help them
excell
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excel
,it is my firm conviction that educating them to become
co-operative
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cooperative
show examples
with their peers has far more reaching advantage on their future because they have the tendency to exchange and adopt
idealogies
Correct your spelling
ideologies
that will help them
Submitted by Emmanuelodachi on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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