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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many People aim to achive a blance between their work and lives, but few people achieve it, What are the causes of this? How to overcome this Problem?

#people #aim #achive #blance #work #lives
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It is irrefutable that in
this
 contemporary era, In order to execute that there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 many community's
goal
Change to a plural noun
goals
show examples
 that equilibrium between
work
 and lives,
nevertheless
 only
limited
Add an article
a limited
show examples
 proportion of people
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
 in it.
This
 essay will look at the core reasons for
this
 and propose some solid solutions. One of the main causes of the
problem
 is that Being a responsible person they
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 really hard and
some
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
time
 they took granted as well, Not only the hectic schedules of their profession play a vital role of
this
problem
 but
also
 humans
perseption
Correct your spelling
perception
 towards their
life
 has
beed
Correct your spelling
been
 changed over the years. The solution is for the Either they have to learn
time
 management in order to eliminate challenges or they can analyse their daily routine and according to
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 they can apply their other activity.
Furthermore
, Another
Problem
 is that
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 people are very passionate
towards
Change preposition
about
show examples
 their
work
 and due to that the probability of focus of their
life
 could decline, as a consequence
lack
Change preposition
of lack
show examples
 of
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 towards
life
 and
work
 happened.
For example
, Some
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
are take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
 deep diving
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 their research, owing to they struggled with some
sevirour
Correct your spelling
saviour
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
 due to mental imbalance. To tackle
this
 issue company should hire the
phychology
Correct your spelling
psychology
consultunt
Correct your spelling
consultant
 so that
time
 to
time
 they can talk and
understande
Correct your spelling
understand
 the
employees
Change to a genitive case
employee's
employees'
show examples
 issue and according to that they can prepare
daily
Add an article
a daily
show examples
 routine of
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
. To sum up, I would like to reiterate that,
Although
 there are some causes of imbalance between
life
 and
work
,
nonetheless
 solutions are very convenient and comfortable for
crowd
Add an article
the crowd
a crowd
show examples
 in order to overcome
those
Change the determiner
that problem
those problems
show examples
problem
.
Submitted by rajnpatelb06 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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