Some people say that the government is responsible for aged care and financial support for the elderly; others argue that it’s the role of individuals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #government #care #support #it’s #role #individuals

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At the present, it is noticeable that the older generation

are

Change the verb form

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being provided pension by the government. While some residents concur with

this

Linking Words

strategy, others believe it is

the

Correct article usage

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matter of each person and they should be able to please their own needs. Personally, I agree with the country’s supervisors caring and financially supporting the elderly.

This

Linking Words

essay will examine both views.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the older people are

under

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risk of being thrown away or forgotten by their relatives, which would have caused a lot of concern if the government had acted

otherwise

Linking Words

. Usually,

citizens

Use synonyms

tend to think that all parents have kids or relatives who could somehow help during tremendously difficult phases.

In addition

Linking Words

, if the authorities did not support them financially, it would seem as they have absorbed all the human resources just to toss after there is no left. It apparently opposes the liberal view of the politicians.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, the money in the equity of the country should be used more wisely.

For example

Linking Words

, in the developed country Germany, the older generation takes up the majority of the population, because of the regression in the number of children born. People often can afford what they want,

thus

Linking Words

the money should be utilized for projects pondering about the enlargement of the population. The elderly can live fully without worries,

besides

Linking Words

, almost all

citizens

Use synonyms

assist their parents in aged care. To sum up, even if the officials didn’t consider the financial help for its

citizens

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in the developed countries, it would be more difficult

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for

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the elder

citizens

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in poor countries since every possible thing could happen.

Thus

Linking Words

, allowing monthly welfare in every country will probably be the best decision, since the older people should

also

Linking Words

be cared

Change to the active voice

care

have cared

show examples

Change preposition

for.

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Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on Sat Sep 18 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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Some people say that the government is responsible for aged care and financial support for the elderly; others argue that it’s the role of individuals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today. What are the causes of global warming, and what measures can governments and individuals take to tackle the issues?

Some people believe that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people work for the same organisation all their working life, others think that it is better to work for different organisations. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?