Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to leam how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time #leam

Some individuals argue that parents should stimulate their infants to participate in

coletive

Correct your spelling

collective

organizations during their leisure time, whereas others consider that it is vital for juveniles

evolve

Fix the infinitive

to evolve

show examples

their own occupation by themselves. In

this

essay, I am going to debate both points of view, and

then

explain why I believe

children

should socialize frequently with other persons. There are two main reasons to defend activities in

group

Add an article

the group

a group

show examples

Firstly

, relatives declare that

this

practice can improve social

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

, helping

children

surpass traumas or lack of confidence.

For instance

, artistic groups can teach how to deal with shyness or anxiety.

Secondly

, being members of

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

teams can teach new physical abilities to young people while they boost their

healthy

Replace the word

health

show examples

conditions,

such

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cardiorespiratory function.

Hence

, enrolling them in extra schooling activities should be the best option to occupy their free time. On the other

hands

Fix the agreement mistake

hand

show examples

, opponents explain that

children

require some periods by themselves to understand their emotions.

Furthermore

, young persons should have their own to figure out solutions to their fears and personal difficulties by themselves.

Moreover

, various

pediatricians

Change the spelling

paediatricians

show examples

claim that, throughout loneliness, infants will be able to develop their independence and self-esteem, which are indispensable to adult life. In conclusion, both arguments have their merits.

Nonetheless

, on balance, I think human being requires constantly socialization with others in order to evolve social skills and wellness. Considering that childhood is the period of life when individuals are more

disponible

Correct your spelling

responsible

to sharing experiences and learnings, I strongly suggest intense and constant coexistence between

children

in order to improve their physical and psychological characteristics.

Submitted by debi_quistina on Sat Sep 18 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
You are experiencing financial problems and want to ask your landlord if you can pay your rent late.
I hope you are well. I am writing this letter to inform you regarding my rent payment. I apologise for causing you any inconvenience. Please allow me to explain my situation. Recently, there have been some financial issues related to my family. My brother was planning to buy a property in my hometown. The real estate asked him to provide proof of balance from the bank next week. But he did not have enough money to make up the statement. My brother asked for my help just last week. However, I have transferred my partial amount of the rental to him immediately. Furthermore, I would like to request an extension for another 2 weeks to pay my rent. I have signed the lease with youfor 2years and will still be continuing. I will be receiving my salary after next week and I hope you can understand under those circumstances.
8
band
Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is true that ex-prisoners can become normal, productive members of society. I completely agree with the idea that allowing such people to speak to teenagers about their experiences is the best way to discourage them from breaking the law.
4
band
In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.
There is no doubt that the adolescence stage takes place of changes among youths. Although all workplaces could be beneficial to teens, I believe that adolescent jobs could be disadvantageous to them. In this is say, I will delineate both notions, and then come up with my opinion.
4.5
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
It is considered unlawful in some nations for employers to deny job seekers employment simply because of their age. However, from my point of view, it is a step in the wrong direction as we shall see.
5.5
band
TOPIC: Nowadays, some people like to give help to the local community or provide people with direct help. Other people prefer to give money to national and international organizations. Discuss both methods and give your own opinion on which is better.
Some people prefer to donate native communities or directly support underprivileged people, whereas other people do charity in bigger scales. Basically, each method owns benefits aims for a better society, but the later method is more outstanding than the former ones.

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to leam how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

You are experiencing financial problems and want to ask your landlord if you can pay your rent late.

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

TOPIC: Nowadays, some people like to give help to the local community or provide people with direct help. Other people prefer to give money to national and international organizations. Discuss both methods and give your own opinion on which is better.