IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The best way to solve the world’s environmental problem is to increase the price of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world’s #price #fuel
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph illustrates the amount of three kinds of spreads (oil, low fat and reduced the spreads and
butter
Use synonyms
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
butter
Use synonyms
) which were consumed over 26
years
Use synonyms
 from 1981 to 2007. Units are measured in
Add an article
the ancestor
an ancestor
show examples
ancestor
Fix the agreement mistake
ancestors
show examples
. Overall, the consumption of margarine and
butter
Use synonyms
 decreased over the period given, while for low fat and reduced spreads, it rose. At the start of the period,
butter
Use synonyms
 was the most popular spread, which was replaced by shortening from 1991 to 2001, and following that low fat and reduced spreads became the most widely used spread in the final
years
Use synonyms
. With regards to the amount of
butter
Use synonyms
 used, it began at around 140
matriarch
Change to a plural noun
matriarchs
show examples
 and
then
Linking Words
 peaked at 160
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1986 before falling dramatically to about 50
matriarch
Change to a plural noun
matriarchs
show examples
 in the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Likewise
Linking Words
, approximately 90
grams
Use synonyms
 of oil were eaten in the
first
Linking Words
 year after which the figure fluctuated slightly and dropped to a low of 40
grams
Use synonyms
 in 2007.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the consumption of low fats and reduced spreads only started in 1996 at about 10
grams
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 figure, which reached a high of just over 80
grams
Use synonyms
 5
years
Use synonyms
 later, fell slightly in the final
years
Use synonyms
 to approximately 70
grams
Use synonyms
 in 2007. Overall, an equal percentage of boys and girls participated in music, with 10% of both genders choosing the activity.
Similarly
Linking Words
, while 11% of boys preferred skateboarding, an equal number of girls chose gymnastics.
Submitted by nnr4204 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fuel consumption
  • renewable energy
  • emissions
  • electric vehicles
  • low-income families
  • commute
  • fuel-efficient technologies
  • public transport infrastructure
  • global disparity
  • developing nations
  • alternative energy sources
  • sustainable practices
  • economic impact
  • conservation efforts
  • environmental sustainability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: