These days,too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine,rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. To what extend do you agree with this statement?

#people #health #doctors #medicine #lifestyle

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this

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present era,

community

Correct article usage

the community

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in spite of keeping healthy habits, often depend on healthcare professionals and medications as far as their

fitness

Use synonyms

is concerned.

However

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, I totally disagree with the aforesaid notion as I believe that personal efforts are mandatory to keep oneself fit. In

this

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essay, we will discuss, in the

first

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paragraph, how people can maintain

fitness

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on their own and in the

second

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paragraph, how they can eliminate the hazardous effects of medicine by keeping

fitness

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rituals.

Firstly

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, as a saying goes, 'One apple a day keeps the doctor away, it has been observed that

fitness

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can be achieved by personal efforts

such

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as a healthy diet, proper exercise and meditation.

In other words

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, people who follow a morning routine in which, yoga, jogging and nutritional diet are included, are less prone to suffer from diseases like diabetes Mellitus, hypertension and stroke.

In addition

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to that, keeping healthy rituals not only help in cardiac

fitness

Use synonyms

but

also

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boost up immunity and individual can remain protected from even the communicable diseases as flue, dengue, chikungunya.

For instance

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, the group of people in my town run a

fitness

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campaign and all of them follow it religiously that makes them healthy and energetic. They are

also

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rare visitors to hospitals because of their healthy lifestyle.

Secondly

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, many individuals tend to depend on medicines which make them addicted and can become life-threatening for them.

Moreover

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, painkillers and certain kinds of steroids usually results

in addition

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and cause damage to vital organs like the liver and kidney. Even, consistent use of antibiotics

also

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results in resistance in later stages. If an individual follows a proper healthy routine, he becomes less dependent on medications,

consequently

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remains protected from harmful reactions. To exemplify, Mrs Singh, in my neighbourhood, started pain-killer and steroids for her joint pain,

instead

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of exercise and reducing her weight.

Consequently

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, she gained weight, swelling all over her body and now quitting medications became extremely hard for her. In conclusion, I believe that personal attention and care can lead to wonderful health benefits.

Hence

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, I agree with the notion.

Submitted by drvaishalikhare on Sun Sep 19 2021

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15
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

349 words

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