some people say that it is the responsibility of individual to save money for their own care after they retire.to what extent do you agree or disagree? some people feel that it is better to save for the future, while others feel that one should spend money to enjoy the present .which view do you support and why?

#people #responsibility #money #care #future #support

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this

Linking Words

fast-paced world, in order to secure the

future

Use synonyms

fewer populace claim that monthly expenditure should be limited. Whereas, others believe that an individual should expend money to enjoy the current phase of their

life

Use synonyms

. I personally can only partly agree with the aforementioned statement which causes will be discussed in the essay.

Initially

Linking Words

, it is an undeniable fact that persons are themselves responsible for the later part of their

life

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after completion of their service. Because the more they enjoy the present period will have less productive the

future

Use synonyms

For example

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, as the recent survey depicts that people who wisely manage they are current finances, has joyful

life

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after retirement.

Furthermore

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, the economy which is saved in the struggling period can be used to establish own business.

For instance

Linking Words

, there are anonymous examples of billionaires who had created a billion dollars organisation after their service finished.

Moreover

Linking Words

, a person can think critically after getting experience and can spare plenty of time on their dream. Due to the fact that he could devote himself wholeheartedly and work dedicatedly to accomplish his or her goal. Exemplar, the latter part of the

life

Use synonyms

he or she will be working for themselves.

Lastly

Linking Words

In contrast

Linking Words

, if we think more about the

future

Use synonyms

then

Linking Words

it will cause dissatisfaction in the ongoing situation of

life

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is the fact, many strugglers opine that present

life

Use synonyms

can not be ignored in view of

future

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. To sum up,

although

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saving money is a beneficial factor,

however

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people wants can not be avoided.

hence

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, I support both views partially.

Submitted by alkaserimohsin on Sun Sep 19 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries,it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age.Is this a positive or negative development?

in some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvanteges of giving children this massege?

Government investment in the arts,such as music and theatre is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public service instead. Do you agree or disagree.

Some countries allow old people to work to any stage that they want. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages