IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little can be done to rectify this. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#controls #media #attitudes #people
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In today’s world, media plays an imperative role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society and
hence
Linking Words
, they should be independent without any conflict of interest.
However
Linking Words
, in many
countries
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, they are controlled by some influential figures or
Government
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, and we can do little about
this
Linking Words
 alarming situation.
Countries
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 that are governed by
communist
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the communist
a communist
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 party are the
countries
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 that have very less or no independence
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
media
Correct article usage
the media
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.
Opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
Opinions
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 of people of
such
Linking Words
countries
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 regulated by the stringent laws enacted by the
Government
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.
For example
Linking Words
, China is ruled by a communist party and their law imposes severe punishment to whomsoever tries to raise
voice
Correct article usage
a voice
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 against the
Government
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.
Last
Linking Words
 year, a scientist of a laboratory situated in Wuhan (China) was arrested and jailed for commenting that it was Wuhan from where the Covid 19 virus emerged.
This
Linking Words
 augments the view that the people in China are afraid to give
independent
Add an article
an independent
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opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
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 and their attitude is controlled by the
Government
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. Another prominent example
of
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apply
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is North Korea which is fully controlled by
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 supreme leader, Kim Jong Un. As a matter of fact,
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 of North Korea have no view of their own and if they try to raise their voice, not only the individual is punished but
also
Linking Words
 his family have to bear the burden of his actions. In fact, their media only broadcasts channels that
depicts
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depict
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 the persona of their supremo and their education
also
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 revolves around the leader. With
such
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 laws & regulations that are totally controlled by
Government
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, how can one expect to rectify the situation! Even having global bodies
such
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 as
UN
Correct article usage
the UN
show examples
, the plight of the public of
such
Linking Words
countries
Use synonyms
 is pathetic. There is very little that can be done to improve the situation.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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