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These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behavior. Do you agree or disagree?

#amount #violence #television #impact #children #behavior
Television
 has become one of the main sources of entertainment and relaxation. But the content which nowadays comes on
television
 can have a very detrimental impact on
children
. I absolutely agree that
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
show examples
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of
violence
 on
television
 can have a negative impact on
children
's behaviour.
Increase
Correct article usage
The increase
show examples
 in
violence
 in schools and the constant
anger
Correct your spelling
danger
show examples
 in today's
children
 attest to the same fact. Many parents are both working and can not keep a check on what their child is consuming on
television
. With the
violence related
Add a hyphen
violence-related
show examples
 shows now part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mainstream
television
Add a comma
,television
show examples
 it is very difficult to keep the
children
 distant from them.Even the cartoons to a degree now have violent content,
this
 leads to
creation
Add an article
the creation
show examples
 of a very harmful perception of reality in young minds.
Therefore
 ,they tend to believe that the solution to any problem is only taking the violent way,
as
Replace the word
like
show examples
 their favourite superhero or crime series main lead takes.
This
 leads to a wrong set of ideas being cultivated at a very young age, as the
children
 look to imitate what they see.
Therefore
,
children
 now lack the qualities of kindness, empathy and forgiveness.
This
 can be attested by the increase in gun
violence
 at schools. Even out of a not so serious issue
children
 tend to get riled up and not even bother to think about the consequences attached
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the activity they may commit.
This
 false sense of gratification can be attributed to
TV
Add an article
a TV
the TV
show examples
 showing glorification of the superhero even after he has broken certain laws.There is a very dire need to censor violent content for a more sensitive growth of
children
's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
. In conclusion, TV
violence
 has played a key role
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
creation
Add an article
the creation
show examples
 of
a divisive minds
Correct the article-noun agreement
divisive minds
a divisive mind
show examples
 of
children
.
This
 negative impact has had
long lasting
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
show examples
 effects on the
children
's overall
developement
Correct your spelling
development
.
Submitted by rushabhsurana147 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • desensitize
  • aggression
  • conflict resolution
  • instill fear
  • mental health
  • perception
  • imitation
  • aggressive behavior
  • empathy
  • unrealistic understanding
  • ramifications
  • inappropriate content
  • vulnerable
  • behavioral patterns
  • differentiate
  • fiction and reality
  • exposure to violence
  • negative impact
  • television violence
  • blur the lines
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