In a number of counties, some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast train between cities. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people support that governments should spend much money on producing new railroads and extremely fast
trains
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

like Shinkansen in
japan
Change the capitalization
Japan

It appears that the word japan may be a proper noun in this context. Consider capitalizing the word.

show examples
. While
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction While. Consider removing the comma.

show examples
others argue that they should focus on improving existing vehicles
first
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

. In my opinion, these two statements are both important that must be planned as soon as possible. Some citizens think that producing many
train
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

lines and buying hi-tech
trains
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will make their country more advance in many ways.
Initially
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, people can have easy and convenient trips, they can travel among cities
by
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
their own easier than using personal cars or buses.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the fastest
trains
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can send food and local products faster and fresher than using
tradition
Replace the word
traditional

The word tradition doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
transportations like trucks. In that case, the number of
over populations
Correct your spelling
overpopulations

The word over populations seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
in the city will decrease because people can live in their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes

It seems that home may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
without struggling on
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling

The spelling of traveling is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Japanese populations mostly live in
Add an article
the suburb

The noun phrase suburb seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
suburb
Fix the agreement mistake
suburbs

It seems that suburb may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
since they have many
train
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

stations and the fastest
train
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

named Shinkansen.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are many arguments that maintaining some existing public transport
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
plans
Correct your spelling
planes

The word plans doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
and buses is more impact than the previous idea.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with an accident from public transport, many cars crashed and poor buses cases are caused by lacking in quality.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these public vehicles should be maintained all the time for keeping passengers safe.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, enhancing public car spent
time less
Correct your spelling
timeless

The word time less seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
than producing a whole new one which is spent more than ten years to finish it all compared to improving transportations service. In conclusion, expanding
train
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

stations and up-to-date
trains
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have many positive sides that make
citizen
Replace the word
city

The word citizen doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
life better. While
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction While. Consider removing the comma.

show examples
continuous upgrading existing transportations spend less time and prevent an accident on the roads. From my point of view, these vital projects should be planned altogether.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: