IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

42. Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #education #age #think #years
today , many people are involving in their
childeren
Correct your spelling
children
 and they believed that
childeren
Correct your spelling
children
 should begin their
eductation
Correct your spelling
education
 sooner but
aother
Correct your spelling
other
others
another
 suggest it is not standard they should start at seven age.
This
 essay will
presents
Change the verb form
present
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different issues. One on the
hand
Correct quantifier usage
other hand
show examples
 ,
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 sooner for
education
 can help for
childeren
Correct your spelling
children
 and parents.
Firstly
,according to researchers scientists announce that the best
also
 the most affect the ages periods about 2 between 6 years old  and these can be the best method bring up for
education
 and growth in
rhe
Correct your spelling
the
 school  can
be bring
Change the verb form
be brought
show examples
 up better brain.
Secondly
 if
childeren
Correct your spelling
children
 separate from their parents, they will be
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
also
 can be
independened
Correct your spelling
independent
independence
 more than  in the past and they can manage alone that in the future they will be
scusseful
Correct your spelling
useful
 .
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the other hand , many people opposite
this
 scheme and they believe that start sooner for
education
 , can be
injuried
Correct your spelling
injured
 themselves,
for
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 compulsory
education
 , can be appeared problems
mentals
Correct your spelling
metals
such
 as anxiety, depression and being
deprovied
Correct your spelling
deprived
provided
 in
time
 for playing or
entertain
Change the form of the verb
entertaining
show examples
, it can be
Correct your spelling
arisen
show examples
arised
Correct your spelling
raised
  dropped out and the class atmosphere will be been dull
also
 their future can be lost motive for 
continue
Change the verb form
continuing
show examples
 in school and they should not
last
  free
time
 that's why having free brain can be calm down for their lives and not having problem mental will be gotten
scussful
Correct your spelling
successful
 their study
beside
Replace the word
besides
show examples
 their family. to sum up,
strat
Correct your spelling
start
show examples
 to
education
 sooner can be arrived at their destination of
target
Add an article
the target
show examples
 even they will be
entelligent
Correct your spelling
intelligent
 in their future but having a free
time
 for
childere
Correct your spelling
children
 is right for every child and should not
deprovied
Correct your spelling
provide
deprived
provided
 in  their authority about
time
 and
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 issues.
Submitted by aziziartist on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: