IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that increasing the cost of fuel is one of the best ways to solve environmental problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion？

Environmental pollution and degradation are some of the biggest concerns in today's world. Some argue that increasing the
fuel
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 cost is the most effective way to overcome environmental issues. My point of view is that, with
this
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 approach, I agree that the costs of
fuels
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 are one of the strongest ways to minimize
such
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 problems, and additional methods may be beneficial for
this
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 purpose.
Firstly
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, increasing the cost of
fuel
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 tends to decrease the usage of private vehicles, individuals are likely to seek more affordable options,
such
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 as public transportation, cycling, or even walking.
This
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 shift can dramatically reduce the number of cars on the road, leading to lower carbon emissions and improved air quality.
For instance
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, cities like Istanbul and Ankara, which are the most likely to have personal vehicle users, have started to decrease
due to
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 the increased
fuel
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 prices.
Besides
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, the governments have reported a noticeable decline in both traffic and pollution.
Secondly
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, the higher the prices of
fuels
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 get, the higher the preference for renewable energy sources increases. Renewable vehicles in traffic help to reduce carbon emissions, which can cause some environmental damage in the long term.
For example
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, cars that are powered by solar, wind, or electric technologies could provide an eco-friendly place for users.
This
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 transition helps to reduce reliance on fossil
fuels
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 but
also
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 fosters the green energy sector. In conclusion, with the increased environmental problems, I believe that increasing the price of
fuel
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 is a great method to overcome unwanted pollution. Especially, the government should provide new regulations and methods to reduce the negative impacts of fossil
fuels
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, including higher taxes on
fuel
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 sources, to decrease the amount of consumption.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a well-structured argument regarding the connection between fuel prices and environmental issues. However, ensure that all main points are fully supported with examples to improve clarity and depth.
coherence and cohesion
While your ideas are generally coherent, some sentences could be more seamlessly connected for better flow. Consider using transition phrases to guide readers through your points more effectively.
task achievement
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your argument, but it could benefit from a stronger final statement that reinforces your stance or suggests further implications.
content
You provide a balanced view by acknowledging that while increasing fuel costs can be effective, other methods should also be considered. This shows critical thinking.
relevant examples
Your examples, like Istanbul and Ankara, add relevance and demonstrate real-world application, which supports your arguments well.
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