IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#museums #charge #admission #people
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It has become apparent in recent years that a significant part of
museums
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 charge an
entry
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fee
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 from
visitors
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, whereas only a small part of them is free for visits. I am inclined to believe that the benefits of
this
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 practice outweigh the disadvantages and
further
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 in my essay I will present grounds for my point of view. There is little doubt that when
museums
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 charge a
fee
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 for
entry
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, they can offer beneficial facilities to their
visitors
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.
For instance
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, they may recruit a professional staff to offer friendly as well as more attentive services to tourists.
Moreover
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, they may hire knowledgeable guides who can provide correct information about pieces of the exhibition.
In addition
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, they may employ people to babysit for the couple’s children who want to enjoy the
museum
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 without disturbing about safeguard with their little babies.
Last
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 but not least, they might invest some funds into (in?) equipment for a variety of enabled people.
Consequently
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, there are clear benefits to charging an
entry
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fee
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. At the same time,
museums
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 that offer free
entry
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 depend entirely on the miserable funds provided by the government as well as donations.
As a result
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, they cannot maintain the
museum
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 correctly. So,
this
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 may lead to a decline in the number of tourists. According to statistical data, the most famous
museums
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 in the world all charge a
fee
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 from individuals which visit them
it
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apply
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. Obviously, guests will come to
museums
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 with contemporary facilities and well-qualified staff members even if there is an
entry
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fee
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. In conclusion, after analyzing the subject in detail, I would like to highlight that there are more advantages than disadvantages to charging an
entry
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fee
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 from
museum
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visitors
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. I am
also
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 convinced that with the
entry
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fee
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 collected from
visitors
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museum
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 may provide them
high-quality
Change preposition
with high-quality
show examples
 conditions which will encourage more and more people to pay a visit.
Submitted by mila.kniaz on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
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