Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best way to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #career #job #school

Some people claim that studying at

university

or college is the optimal path to a successful

career

while

others believe that getting a job immediately after finishing school is more beneficial. I would argue that pursuing higher education is the best way to achieve professional success. One main reason why attending

university

leads to a prosperous

career

is that it provides individuals with specialized knowledge and recognized qualifications.

In other words

, higher education equips students with in-depth understanding and skills that are essential in many professional fields.

For instance

, careers in medicine, engineering, and law require degrees and certifications that can only be obtained through

university

studies.

Moreover

, universities often offer networking opportunities, internships, and access to resources that can enhance a student’s

career

prospects.

However

, others believe that getting a job right after school is better because it allows individuals to gain practical experience earlier.

This

means that they can develop real-world skills and start earning an income sooner.

As a result

, they may advance more quickly in their chosen field without the burden of student debt associated with higher education.

For example

, someone who begins an apprenticeship in a trade can become a qualified professional in a shorter time frame and potentially start their own business.

Additionally

, early entry into the workforce can

instill

Change the spelling

instil

show examples

a strong work ethic and practical problem-solving abilities that are highly valued by employers. In conclusion,

while

some people think that starting work immediately after school is more advantageous

due to

the early experience and income, I would argue that obtaining a

university

degree is the most effective way to ensure a successful

career

because it provides specialized knowledge and greater opportunities.

Submitted by eparfenenkov on Sat Oct 05 2024

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task achievement

Consider developing the opposing viewpoint in more detail and providing a balanced discussion by acknowledging its merits.

coherence cohesion

Aim to use more varied transitional words and phrases to further enhance the cohesion and make the flow even smoother.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, demonstrating a well-structured response.

task achievement

The arguments presented are relevant and supported by specific examples, enhancing the task achievement score.

coherence cohesion

There is a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, making it easy to follow and understand.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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