The personal information of many individuals is held by large companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #individuals #companies #organisations #outweigh

The use large

companies

can make of

people

's personal

information

is a matter of serious concern and should be treated

accordingly

. While there might be a few benefits to having sensible

information

on the market hands, it actually makes everyone a possible target of scam, fraud or manipulation. In my opinion, governments should set up strict laws to protect citizens from these hazards. Having personal data under the control of important

companies

can bring some benefits to

people

, especially in terms of comfort and life quality.

For example

, nowadays is common to have Facebook, Netflix and Amazon accounts linked along with banking access. In

this

way, it is easier to renew subscriptions, pay for extra services or buy items related to one's interests without even having to reach the credit card or wallet.

In addition

, the recommendation algorithms connecting those services save

people

´s time by shortlisting products the system understands would be suitable for the user. Considering these actions,

companies

claim to use

people

's personal

information

only to provide the best possible service. Unfortunately, there are numerous concerns related to personal data management.

Firstly

, everything related to bank accounts and payment services. Evidence suggests that these days, computer fraud and online scams skyrocketed police records, being the most common crime in many developed countries.

Secondly

, the so-loved recommendation algorithms that appear to be mind-readers of consumers, are known for promoting addictive behaviours, sleeping disorders and manipulate users to feel they need products that are actually not necessary. Experts all over the world are claiming for the governments to strengthen the laws concerning private

information

management as it is being used against individuals. To sum up,

although

there might exist a few advantages in the access

companies

have to

people

's personal

information

, the cost of it is becoming incredibly high and the consequences could be devastating. Governments should follow expert´s advice and not only raise awareness among civilians but

also

increase control over the

companies

and organizations.

Submitted by franca.levin on Tue Sep 21 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

326 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The personal information of many individuals is held by large companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

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