Many people are afraid to leave their home because of crime.Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime.While others feel that little action can be done to stop crime.What is your view ?

There has been a colossal upsurge in the number of people who are scared to go out in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society owing to the fear of criminal activity.

Although

a plethora of individuals opine that limited actions can be taken to end crime, I believe that there are a lot more to be done to put violence to an end. There

are

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show examples

a myriad of arguments in

favor

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favour

show examples

of my stance, the most preponderant

one

being

strengthening

Correct article usage

the strengthening

show examples

of the existing laws. Despite the fact that we have a

Add a hyphen

well-framed

show examples

well framed

Add a hyphen

well-framed

show examples

set of law and order, often there are

Correct your spelling

loopholes

show examples

loop holes

Correct your spelling

loopholes

show examples

that help the criminals. The preexisting rules need to be enforced which not only ensures timely actions

being

Add a missing verb

are being

show examples

taken

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

scares people from committing criminal

offenses

Change the spelling

offences

show examples

. To exemplify, if the punishment for

on scene

Add a hyphen

on-scene

show examples

picturing of violence is instant and severe, fewer people will capture them and

thus

the spread of

such

videos to

common

Add an article

the common

show examples

man is regulated. Needless to say, enforcing

law

Add an article

the law

show examples

could contribute to lessening the occurrence of violent

offenses

Change the spelling

offences

show examples

In contrast

, a few individuals claim that the existing judicial system is time-consuming.

However

this

issue can be sorted out by commencing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

more courts in district levels and

consequently

the accumulated load of cases can be settled in a

time bound

Add a hyphen

time-bound

show examples

manner.

Besides

employing more judges and lawyers

also

contribute to the smooth functioning of the judicial system.

For instance

, when the

after effect

Correct your spelling

aftereffect

show examples

of a crime is immediate and a modest

one

, a person will think twice prior to committing a criminal activity.

Hence

, it is apparent that the time period

Change preposition

for

show examples

justice

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

to be tackled efficiently. From what has been discussed above,

one

can conclude that through enforcing the law and settling the cases

with in

Correct your spelling

within

show examples

stipulated

Add an article

a stipulated

the stipulated

show examples

period of time,

one

can reduce the rate of crime across the nation

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people are afraid to leave their home because of crime.Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime.While others feel that little action can be done to stop crime.What is your view ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

When choosing a job, salary is the most important decision. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the government prioritises economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Some people think that drug addicts should be treated like criminals and sent to jail, while other believe that they should be treated like patients and sent to hospital. Discuss bothe these views and give your own opinion

Some people consider prices as most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or service (eg. medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree.