IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Do you think that technological advancement has brought more harm than good? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. What technologies did you use to help you in your studies? Describe how it has helped you. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

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Due to technological progress, the world has undergone great changes. Some
people
Use synonyms
 consider that it has more negative effects
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 than positive, while others have the opposite point of view. While I agree that the
impact
Use synonyms
 of
such
Linking Words
 advancement can be harmful, I
also
Linking Words
 see its benefits. Among the positive aspects,
one
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 can single out the facilitation of
people
Use synonyms
's
work
Use synonyms
, as well as an improvement in the
quality
Use synonyms
 of
education
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. Today, automation and robotization have contributed to reducing
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 intensity and saving
time
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.
For
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example
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, if earlier workers had to do
such
Linking Words
 hard
work
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 by
hand
Use synonyms
, now they can use complex machines that will greatly facilitate their
work
Use synonyms
 and reduce the
time
Use synonyms
 to complete it.
Besides
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,
education
Use synonyms
 has become much more convenient and accessible. Thanks to the
Internet
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,
people
Use synonyms
 can find almost any information they need.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they have the opportunity to take online training, participate in discussions on forums and improve their knowledge on a variety of topics.
For
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
, I was able to take an English course, without leaving my
home
Use synonyms
 and significantly improve my skills. At the same
time
Use synonyms
, there are ecological and social issues associated with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rapid industrial development. Increasing levels of
production
Use synonyms
 and consumption entail environmental pollution, and, are
also
Linking Words
one
Use synonyms
 of the causes of global warming.
For instance
Linking Words
, most industries often emit large amounts of harmful
gases
Use synonyms
, including greenhouse
gases
Use synonyms
 like carbon dioxide in their
production
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 processes.
In addition
Linking Words
, in the age of technology, when it is possible to communicate with the
Internet
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, some
people
Use synonyms
 may lose touch with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
 and find themselves in social isolation.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon can lead to serious mental and physiological health
problems
Use synonyms
 in a person. A good illustration of
this
Linking Words
 is my friend, who spent too much
time
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
 sitting at the computer.
Consequently
Linking Words
, he began to suffer from insomnia, and he began to experience headaches. In conclusion, technological progress is a blessing and an enemy of humanity at the same
time
Use synonyms
. On the
one
Use synonyms
hand
Use synonyms
, it makes life easier for
society
Use synonyms
, improves the
quality
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
 and increases
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 productivity.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Use synonyms
,
it’s
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
impact
Use synonyms
 can lead to serious
problems
Use synonyms
 related to the environment and
society
Use synonyms
 as a whole.
people
Use synonyms
 consider that it has more negative effects
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 than positive, while others have the opposite point of view. While I agree that the
impact
Use synonyms
 of
such
Linking Words
 advancement can be harmful, I
also
Linking Words
 see its benefits. Among the positive aspects,
one
Use synonyms
 can single out the facilitation of
people
Use synonyms
's
work
Use synonyms
, as well as an improvement in the
quality
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
. Today, automation and robotization have contributed to reducing labour intensity and saving
time
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
, if earlier workers had to do
such
Linking Words
 hard
work
Use synonyms
 by
hand
Use synonyms
, now they can use complex machines that will greatly facilitate their
work
Use synonyms
 and reduce the
time
Use synonyms
 to complete it.
Besides
Linking Words
,
education
Use synonyms
 has become much more convenient and accessible. Thanks to the
Internet
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 can find almost any information they need.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they have the opportunity to take online training, participate in discussions on forums and improve their knowledge on a variety of topics.
For
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
, I was able to take an English course, without leaving my
home
Use synonyms
 and significantly improve my skills. At the same
time
Use synonyms
, there are ecological and social issues associated with rapid industrial development. Increasing levels of
production
Use synonyms
 and consumption entail environmental pollution, and, are
also
Linking Words
one
Use synonyms
 of the causes of global warming.
For instance
Linking Words
, most industries often emit large amounts of harmful
gases
Use synonyms
, including greenhouse
gases
Use synonyms
 like carbon dioxide in their
production
Use synonyms
 processes.
In addition
Linking Words
, in the age of technology, when it is possible to communicate with the
Internet
Use synonyms
, some
people
Use synonyms
 may lose touch with
real-life
Correct your spelling
real life
show examples
 and find themselves in social isolation.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon can lead to serious mental and physiological health
problems
Use synonyms
 in a person. A good illustration of
this
Linking Words
 is my friend, who spent too much
time
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
 sitting at the computer.
Consequently
Linking Words
, he began to suffer from insomnia, and he began to experience headaches. In conclusion, technological progress is a blessing and an enemy of humanity at the same
time
Use synonyms
. On the
one
Use synonyms
hand
Use synonyms
, it makes life easier for
society
Use synonyms
, improves the
quality
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
 and increases labour productivity.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Use synonyms
, its
impact
Use synonyms
 can lead to serious
problems
Use synonyms
 related to the environment and
society
Use synonyms
 as a whole.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • medical breakthroughs
  • healthcare
  • educational software
  • quality and accessibility of education
  • communication technologies
  • global collaboration
  • automation and robotics
  • productivity and efficiency
  • economic growth
  • job displacement
  • economic inequality
  • digital devices
  • mental health issues
  • environmental degradation
  • pollution
  • resource depletion
  • cybersecurity threats
  • digital technologies
  • personal and national security
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