Today more people are overweight than ever before. What is your opinion are the primary causes of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?

#people #measures #epidemic

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

contemporary

Add an article

the contemporary

show examples

era , more individuals are obese than

past

Change preposition

in past

show examples

time.

Although

Linking Words

, secondary

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

and eating fast

food

Use synonyms

are

main

Correct article usage

the main

show examples

reasons behind it;

however

Linking Words

, multiple steps can be taken to solve

this

Linking Words

issue. The major reason strike to my mind is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

people became

workaholic

Fix the agreement mistake

workaholics

show examples

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

are forced to eat ready to eat

food

Use synonyms

,which contains

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of spices, oil and extra calories, that are responsible for getting weight, because they do not have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

enough time to prepare

food

Use synonyms

at home which is healthy.

Moreover

Linking Words

, advanced technology

also

Linking Words

making people lazy ,they spend most of their time on

computer

Add an article

the computer

show examples

and in front of

television

Add an article

the television

a television

show examples

and avoid physical activities, as a

result

Add the comma(s)

,result

show examples

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

became obese.

For instance

Linking Words

, one can easily watch all

tourism

Replace the word

tourist

show examples

places from the comfort of their home through YouTube.

Also

Linking Words

,long sitting jobs are

common

Correct article usage

a common

show examples

cause behind it . In order to mitigate the

problem

Add a comma

,problem

show examples

multiple measures can be used.

Firstly

Linking Words

Add an article

the

show examples

government should

bann

Correct your spelling

ban

junk

food

Use synonyms

from school menus and plan healthy diets for children.

Also

Linking Words

, parks should be built in every society so that masses can be motivated for morning and evening

walk

Fix the agreement mistake

walks

show examples

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

authorities should arrange

compagins

Correct your spelling

campaigns

companies

to council the public about physical activities and

also

Linking Words

,they can explain about diseases that

occurs

Change the verb form

occur

show examples

with obesity like diabetes. In conclusion, while, sitting

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

and consumption of junk foods are

main

Correct article usage

the main

show examples

reasons behind

overweight

Add a missing verb

being overweight

show examples

, I believe that

this

Linking Words

issue can be handled with government as well as individual efforts

such

Linking Words

as routine physical

work up

Correct your spelling

workup

show examples

and avoid fast foods.

Submitted by Sohandeepkaur9327 on Tue Sep 21 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?
Citizens find themselves in danger although the number of aggravated faults are going down in many nations because we can hear more about the crimes from social media more than ever before and we started to see new types of crimes which cannot be prosecuted under current law systems of the countries. So as to solve this problem, I think investigation process should be improved and governments should make new laws which binds the offenders of the untypical crimes.
6.5
band
LETTER TOPIC You recently noticed a local restaurant that was offering part-time .job. Write a letter to the restaurant's manager. In your letter, - explain that you would like to apply for the job -give some details of any relevant experience that you have - specify the days and times that would suit
I am writing to apply for the position of cook in your restaurant, Aroma Bakery. I am writing in response to your advertisement on Sunday, August 10, 2024. The main reason I am contacting you is that you are the best choice in this city.
7.5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or buildings they live in.what are the reasons for this ?how can people research this ?
In the contemporary era, numerous people are increasingly curious about the history of the houses or buildings they reside in. Therefore, this essay will explore the root causes of this trend and outline several methods which individuals can use to gain a deep understanding of their home.
8
band
Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a postive part of lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion.
In today's world, advertising is undoubtedly increasing in populations' lives and demanding more consideration. Some individuals believe that advertising has become a beneficial shade of today's issues while others consider vice versa. This essay will highlight both aspects of the idea and discuss my perspective as well.
5.5
band
Many companies are developing electronic books. Some people think thoese books will replaced paper books in the future. To what extent do you agree?
Technological advancementes have allowed widespread access to the information without boundaries, thus digital books are widely available. Hence, many people argue that hardcopies will be replaced by e-books, however, many other argue that printed out copies are necessary. I consider that both are required, and in this essay, I explain my reasons in detail.

Today more people are overweight than ever before. What is your opinion are the primary causes of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?

Your opinion

In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or buildings they live in.what are the reasons for this ?how can people research this ?

Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a postive part of lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion.

Many companies are developing electronic books. Some people think thoese books will replaced paper books in the future. To what extent do you agree?