Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #punishments #type #crime #circumstances #motivation #account #punishment

A handful of people are of the opinion that fixed punishment for some

crimes

like murder is the right way to go.

However

, there are other people who argue that the nature of the

crimes

committed should

also

be taken into account. I will discuss both sides of

this

coin

in depth

Add a hyphen

in-depth

show examples

and provide my perspective.

To begin

with,

death

penalty

crimes

, including major

crimes

like murder and

drug

trafficking, should be dealt with the worst penalties available. The reason it is done

this

way is that it sets a strict stance to the public and anyone who has any kind of opinion is doing the same thing.

This

will not only prevent any other similar wrongdoings

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

reassure everyone that the country does not tolerate these

crimes

For example

, in my country,

Singapore

, finding even the slightest trace of drugs in

someones

Change to a genitive case

someone's

show examples

possession will call for jail time for

drug

traffickers or, worse, the

death

penalty

. These strict penalties have made

Singapore

one of the safest countries in the world. On the other side of the coin, it can be argued that certain situations can lead even the most law-abiding citizen astray. People who commit heinous

crimes

may be in a bad place at a bad time and have no choice but to commit those acts.

For example

, a recently captured

drug

mule was forced to deliver

drug

packages from London to

Singapore

because his spouse was kidnapped by a

drug

mafia in his home country of Colombia.

This

sparked a global call for the

Singapore

Judicial Council to reconsider the

death

penalty

awarded to him. Ultimately, in my opinion, all capital

crimes

should be dealt with by a definite

death

penalty

such

as life or

death

for the sake of public safety and

also

to act as a part of deterrence for future

crimes

However

, I

also

encourage all

crimes

to be thoroughly investigated because there are certainly examples where an innocent person is doing something they did not do of their own free will but

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

being forced and masterminded. He should be arrested and

instead

Add a comma

instead,

show examples

he should face

punicement

Correct your spelling

punishment

Submitted by hadvaniparth1 on Fri Mar 29 2024

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Clarity

Ensure a clear distinction between your personal opinion and the discussion of both views to enhance clarity.

Coherence

Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.

Evidence Support

Be cautious with the use of hypothetical examples to support your arguments. Real-world statistics or studies add more weight and credibility.

Introduction & Conclusion

You've effectively introduced and concluded your essay, presenting a balanced discussion followed by a reasoned opinion.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay displays strong coherence, with a clear logical structure that guides the reader through your argument seamlessly.

Task Achievement

Use of relevant examples to support your points, enhancing your arguments. Incorporating real-world examples like Singapore's policies greatly strengthens your case.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

354 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that dangerous extreme sports such as rock climbing and sky-diving should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Write a letter to a friend who will come to your country to work for 6 months. In your letter, you should: •recommend a city •suggest a few jobs that your friend could do •give some opinions about making friends with the locals.

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fossil fuels, such as coal, oil and natural gas, are the main source for many countries. However, some nations are using alternative energy such as solar power and wind power. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?