IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people argue that technological innovations, such as mobile phone, are making people socially less interactive. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #innovations #phone
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While some
people
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 consider that technological innovation has changed the way
people
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 were interacting early because of its
advance
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advanced
show examples
 features.
This
Linking Words
 essay will highlight the reasons for fewer physical
interaction
Fix the agreement mistake
interactions
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.
Moreover
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, I completely
argee
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agree
 with the above statement that advancement in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology has changed the aspect of society in many ways. On the one hand,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
significant numbers of
people
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 assume that with the
upgradation
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up gradation
up-gradation
 in the
technology
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technological
show examples
 innovations
such
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 as
moblie
Correct your spelling
mobile
 phone has made
people
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 less social.
In addition
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, its
enlarge
Replace the word
enlarged
show examples
 features have given the option to
people
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 to see each other without being met.
Vedio
Correct your spelling
Video
 calling is one of its examples.
Moreover
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,
people
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 considered
its
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it
show examples
 time-saving compared to meeting in-personal;
therefore
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,
physcial
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physical
 interaction among
commuinty
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community
 is decreasing
day
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 on
day
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. Another point to
be consider
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consider
show examples
 the reason for
Correct your spelling
popularity
populaity
Correct article usage
the populaity
show examples
 of mobile phones
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 its numerous advantages, as it has become a source of fun.
Furthermore
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, it provides access to
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 which gives vast options to an individual
such
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 as access to games, online banking, shopping apps; as well as access to social media platforms like, Instagram, Facebook
are
Correct pronoun usage
which are
show examples
 among its examples.
Thus
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,
becauses
Correct your spelling
because
 of its ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
features, human beings are becoming less interactive. To conclude, As mobile phones have numerous benefits;
moreover
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be considered as a complete
mode
Correct your spelling
model
show examples
 of entertainment for an individual;
hence
Linking Words
people
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 do not feel the need of any company and becoming less interactive
day
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 by
day
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.
Submitted by niksmd1991 on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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