IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The economic growth in developing and developed countries is making people richer. However the research indicates that people in the developing countries is happier than people ln developed countries. What is your opinion on this?

#growth #countries #people #research #ln
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With remarkable economic development, the living standard of global
citizens
 from both wealthy and developing
nations
 has been amended significantly.
However
, some studies reveal that
citizens
 from less developed
countries
 tend to have happier
life
 than those in richer
nations
. In my opinion, I disagree with
this
 point and I shall put forth some ideas to exemplify my view with lucid examples in the following paragraph. Apparently, the
life
 of residents in wealthier territories is more secured as they are entitled to receive more social benefits, a higher living standard and assistance from their government. Employees may obtain higher salary rates with appropriate hours, which allow them to achieve a work-
life
 balance and have more time for their families.
For instance
,
citizens
 from Nordic
countries
such
 as Denmark, Finland or Sweden not only receive free education and health care services but
also
 have a high living standard. The annual list of the happiest
countries
 in the world often includes most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wealthy
nations
 like Denmark, Finland, Australia or Canada.
Therefore
,
citizens
 in these
countries
 tend to obtain a happy and fulfilled
life
 due to the benefits they receive from their authorities.
Lifelife
Correct your spelling
Live life
Life life
 in developing
countries
 may be comfortable for those who have an enormous amount of budget as the living expenses and property costs in these
countries
 may be more affordable.
However
, the majority of local inhabitants still struggle every day to meet their basic needs. With a lower salary rate, numerous workers are keen on working overtime or seek a side job to enhance their monthly income. Eventually, they may not spend adequate time on their families or personal hobbies, which may reduce the joy of
life
.
Moreover
, more and more qualified and educated professionals from poor
countries
 are striving for migrating to developed
countries
 with their families in order to achieve a better
life
. In conclusion,
although
 the number of wealthier households is rising rapidly due to economic development, I still affirm that
citizens
 from wealthier
nations
 are likely to obtain a better and happier
life
 compared to those from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less developed
countries
.
Submitted by npanhtuan09 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: