IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#cities #people’s #health
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People
Use synonyms
 tend to move out from the
countryside
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 because there're many opportunities in a city.
That is
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 the main reason which makes big
cities
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 are crowded.
Although
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 some
people
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 think living in the
cities
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 is a cause for bad
people
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's health, I believe we can be healthy living there.
Firstly
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, there are many places which help the public to get healthy
such
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 as a big park, a gym, a sports club, and so on.
In addition
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, the various places to get relaxing are located in the
cities
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 as well
for example
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 a spa, a game centre, a bar. To illustrate, the labourers can work out at the gym or run in the central park easily after their off-hours.
Moreover
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, they can go to the spa on weekend for relaxing.
Consequently
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, the workers have different options to release the stress after work. Another reason is that a lot of supplies produce and transport to the middle of the capital. Though, fresh vegetables and foods are grown in the
countryside
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. Half of the crops are shipped to the
cities
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 because there is a demand due to crowded
people
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. The nation who live in the city has a variety of choices to choose as their foods.
For instance
Linking Words
, a housemaid just goes to a grocery store to buy vegetables which might import from other countries while the
countryside
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 has no option but only crops they grow themselves. To summarize, I think
people
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 who live in the city will stay healthy because there are a lot of facilities provided there.
Nevertheless
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, two things which the government has to consider are how to encourage
people
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 who live in the
cities
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 to stay healthy and how to extend the civilization to the
countryside
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 to reduce populations in the town.
Submitted by faiphad.i on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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