IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people feel that paparazzi should not follow celebrities and invade their privacy by taking pictures of them everywhere, while others believe this is just the price of fame. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

#people #paparazzi #celebrities #privacy #pictures #price #fame
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Maintaining a private
life
Use synonyms
 for
celebrities
Use synonyms
 is becoming more challenging due to the alarming increase of the paparazzi in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
. Some people,
however
Linking Words
, believe that these
reporters
Use synonyms
 should not interfere
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 privacy of the
celebrity
Use synonyms
 by always following them and taking their pictures, while others believe that,
this
Linking Words
 is the return of the popularity they have achieved. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both views and explain why I agree with the
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
 group. Maintaining a personal
life
Use synonyms
 is the right of every person whether popular or
non popular
Add a hyphen
non-popular
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
. When
reporters
Use synonyms
 hinder
this
Linking Words
 right and interfere in
celebrities
Use synonyms
 private
life
Use synonyms
,
celebrities
Use synonyms
 may suffer from anxiety or depression
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 some extent. Anything bad or good
happens
Correct pronoun usage
that happens
show examples
 in their
life
Use synonyms
, most of the time is published by making the scenario more traumatic.
For example
Linking Words
, if a star is going through a
break up
Join the words
breakup
break-up
show examples
 situation and
reporter
Correct article usage
the reporter
show examples
 take advantage of the scenario and publish
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it with more spices, the carrier of the
celebrity
Use synonyms
 might get affected. In extreme cases, the person can commit suicide, which is not expected.
Thats
Correct your spelling
That's
That
 why
reporters
Use synonyms
 should consider situations, and should not always follow
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
celebrities
Use synonyms
 and hinder their privacy.
However
Linking Words
, some
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
, including myself, believe that
this
Linking Words
 is the outcome of the popularity gained by the
celebrity
Use synonyms
.
Reporters
Use synonyms
 usually
takes
Change the verb form
take
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pictures of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
famous
celebrities
Use synonyms
 as part of their job requirement and
popularity
Correct article usage
the popularity
show examples
 of their own channel. The people of the
society
Use synonyms
 usually look forward
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
celebrities
Use synonyms
 information
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the TV channels or
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
, giving information about the stars of the country, the TV channels or reporter can earn for their livelihood and provide for their family.
This
Linking Words
 is definitely a return for the success of the
celebrities
Use synonyms
 and they should accept
this
Linking Words
 situation. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 maintaining a private
life
Use synonyms
 is important for a human being,
however
Linking Words
, it gets extremely difficult for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wellknown
Correct your spelling
well-known
well known
 pupils. While paparazzi should re-consider while publishing any news of the
celebrity
Use synonyms
, the
celebrities
Use synonyms
 should accept it as a return to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by muhammad.mahdibillah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: