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Band 5

Some people believe that rich countries should provide poorer countries with other types of help rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #countries #aid
In the past decades, affluent
countries
 have allocated countless
finance
 to
support
 deprived
countries
. Some people suggest that now the focus should be shifted to other forms of
support
. I totally agree with
this
 statement as I believe financial aid cannot address all issues in those developing
countries
.
This
 essay will explain the drawbacks of financial aid and what other supports can make
differences
Fix the agreement mistake
difference
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
countries
’ development. Many developing
countries
 now need more than just funds to achieve
further
 development. Many other essential issues have been emerging, which have become priority concerns.
For example
, some
countries
 are struggling
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a shortage of labour supply as the population of elderly increases dramatically. Assisting these
countries
 with
finance
 is not as effective as the
support
 of sufficient human resources. Another example includes that money may not be the desirable solution if
countries
 need technologies to develop
manufacturing
Add an article
the manufacturing
show examples
 sector. With
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
technical
support
 from experienced
countries
, recipient
countries
 may develop their industries sustainably in the future. The dependence on
finance
 may make poor
countries
 experience hardships when the
support
 is terminated.
Although
 in a short term, the national revenue will increase if these
countries
 receive financial investment, many domestic businesses will lose motivation to create higher profits. Once the international capital is withdrawn from rich
countries
, the local economy will be expected to recess.
By contrast
, educating local businesses how to earn a higher profit
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 experiences from rich
countries
 can make these
countries
 more independent.
Thus
, given the potential negative impact
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
finance
support
, other types of assistance should be considered. In conclusion,
finance
 cannot address all vital issues facing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these beneficiary
countries
 and other forms of
support
 should be considered to achieve
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
sustainable development in a long run.
Submitted by bruceinau on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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