IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities
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Today
businesses
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 make every effort to generate more income, perhaps by advertising or getting advice from
business
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 consultants.
Apparently
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,Apparently
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 they are merely focused on the financial aspect of their
businesses
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 and have forgotten about the social impacts of their activities. Having access to cutting-edge advancements in social sciences and humanities,
businesses
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 seem to be more liable for their activities. Consider a lingerie selling shop with a huge explicit picture of a graceful woman hanging on
it's
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its
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 wall. You and your kids are taking a walk on the street and your kid might stare at the picture, but what comes to his or her mind? Explicit
contents
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content
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on
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in
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business
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 advertisements might draw
younger
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the younger
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 generation’s attention too much and affect their moral and ethical standards which
is
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are
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 likely to have a negative effect on their behaviour towards the opposite sex. As human beings, irrespective of being
business
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 owners, we are responsible to guarantee a highly acceptable level of moral security for our youngsters. Imagine a chunky little boy coming back home from school. Every day on his way, he sees a gigantic billboard advertising a mouth-watering sandwich. Restaurant owners and fast food sellers, either deliberately or unintentionally, are encouraging our kids and children to eat more and more unhealthy food. But have we ever reflected on the adverse effects of having
this
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 trend continued for years and even decades? Our societies will definitely confront a variety of illnesses for decades to come and we will face a surge in illnesses like hypertension, diabetes and heart attack. As these two examples suggest,
businesses
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 have a great effect on our societies nowadays. They are closely tied to many aspects of our lives today, from moral, ethical and health concerns to educational, political and many others. In my opinion, governments,
business
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 owners and all individuals have to think of rules and regulations, either legally or even morally, to maintain an efficient and productive society for people to live in.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
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