Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed.

Being a parent all the
time
leads you to look for a better way to develop your children's skills.
This days
Change the determiner
This day
These days
show examples
sometimes
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
forget about youngsters
themselthes
Correct your spelling
themselves
behind the run for achievements. I personally completely agree that rising
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
should not be too pressing how we can see quite often but
instead
allow to discover and master their talents in
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
natural way. Social researches revealed that an average school pupil
also
participates
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
2 or sometimes even 3 additional
cources
Correct your spelling
courses
sources
. In most
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
it's
sport
Add an article
a sport
show examples
like football or swimming, music and language
cources
Correct your spelling
courses
but
sometmes
Correct your spelling
sometimes
also
chess playing classes or even math. All
this
activity leads to less self-aware
time
and simple games with friends or
time
with pets. Additional
cources
Correct your spelling
courses
sources
usually
Add a missing verb
are usually
show examples
targeted to receive some kind of result and cause a lot of pressure
this
way.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
, we can allow
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
choose them
preferrable
Correct your spelling
preferable
show examples
activity and provide only suggestions about what may be
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
and why. If one started to dedicate a lot of
time
to
professional
Add an article
the professional
show examples
sport
then
potentially childhood will be lost quite fast with established goals and targets for developing
strenght
Correct your spelling
strength
and stamina.
This
obviously may be really
overwelming
Correct your spelling
overwhelming
because sport targeted to reach records. So, from my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
it’s better to target here on
process
Add an article
the process
a process
show examples
in
first
Add an article
the first
show examples
place
instead
of result just to avoid significant pressure.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
a
such
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
self-development areas as music and art do not have plain targets and plans for reaching records but
also
may be quite pressing. After all, receiving good emotions
as a result
and keep some free
time
will help to mentor boys and girls
grow
Fix the infinitive
to grow
show examples
well balanced.
Submitted by casualuser on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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