IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The working week should be shorter and workers should have longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Employees need to have fewer
days
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 at
work
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 and longer weekends. I concur with
this
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 idea since it can help them to remain in good mental health, and have more
time
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 to pursue hobbies, and discover new
skills
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, so they can be satisfied with their
work
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 and their own life.
Firstly
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, having shorter working
days
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 would protect people’s mental health, because it helps them to be relaxed and focus when they are doing their
work
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.
As a result
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, worker can produce high-quality
work
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 for their establishment.
For example
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, at universities, many professors
work
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 on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday.
Instead
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 of working the whole weekend, which improved their lectures and allowed them to focus on teaching students. People can
also
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 have more
time
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 to do their hobbies, and develop their
skills
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,
such
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 as
work
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skills
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 or personal
skills
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, as they have longer free
time
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. Which will help them to have new
skills
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 and abilities, so they can be better at
work
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, or in their personal life. As that would increase their
overall
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 happiness and put them in a good mood to complete their
work
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days
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.
For instance
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, art’s small business workers have more
time
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 to develop new art
skills
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;
therefore
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, that helps them to be in a happy mood to produce more
work
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. In conclusion, I believe that workers need a longer weekend to remain in better mental health, so they can
work
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 more effectively.
Likewise
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, people have more
time
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 to enjoy their
days
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 by practising their hobbies, and discover new
skills
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, which help them to be thankful for their
work
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 and life.

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weakness
Make the main idea clear in each paragraph and link it to the task more.
weakness
Use more real and simple examples that fit the point you make.
tip
Use linking words to show order and cause, like also, because, so.
tip
State your view in the intro and restate it in the conclusion, with a final thought.
strength
Clear view and stated position.
strength
Uses some good linking words to join ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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