IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Developments in science and technology have caused environmental problems.Some people think that a simpler way of life will protect the environment,whileothers believe that science and technology can solve environmental problems.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#developments #science #technology #people #life #environment #whileothers
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In the modern world, there are several arguments regarding how environmental problems arise. Some harbour a belief that with the help of
people
Use synonyms
 living in an easy
way
Use synonyms
, the planet will remain clean, whilst others hold the reverse viewpoint that the evolution of science and technology is the main factor
to cause
Change the verb form
causing
show examples
 these issues. I stand neutrally with both sides which will be discussed and I will provide supportive points in
this
Linking Words
 essay. On the one hand, a simple
way
Use synonyms
 of life can not damage the environment. If technology and science did not appear,
people
Use synonyms
 would be able to pollute the atmosphere considerably, and they would take all actions with their abilities naturally. To be more specific, before the Industrial Revolution happened, there were no signs of global warming and climate change.
Hence
Linking Words
, activities by
people
Use synonyms
 bring about contamination slowly by utilizing paper or plastic. At the other end of the spectrum, despite the fact that new technology and science bring about detrimental effects to the planet,
such
Linking Words
 as gas emissions and carbon dioxide which are revealed by cars and other machines,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
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digitalisation and scientific inventions can tackle these environmental concerns. To illustrate, at present
people
Use synonyms
 make use of more products which are made of plastic and synthetic materials.
This
Linking Words
 can create a waste of items after
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
. That will, in turn, lead to adulteration.
However
Linking Words
, by means of these up-to-date technologies, these kinds of materials will be recycled. What is more, electric cars can slightly reduce the use of gasoline which is harmful to the atmosphere.
Apart from
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this
Linking Words
, sustainable and renewable energy can be an approachable and appropriate
way
Use synonyms
 to protect the environment. It will be possible for individuals to not
facing
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
 these difficulties.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in spite of having less pollution by a simpler lifestyle, in the long term, it will contaminate slowly without any stopping.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it will be appreciable to utilize modern technologies in the right
way
Use synonyms
 so as to protect the environment
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

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Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will help make your case stronger and more convincing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs are clearly linked with cohesive devices, such as transition words or phrases, to enhance readability.
General Advice
Review and refine your essay to address any minor inaccuracies or informal expressions that may detract from the academic tone of your writing.
Task Achievement
You presented a balanced view by discussing both perspectives effectively before giving your own opinion, which aligns well with the task requirements.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in logically organizing the content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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