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Nowadays, many people send their children to boarding schools so that they can have time to work. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #children #schools #time #work #trend
Boarding schools are becoming popular because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
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 parents to have more time for career paths
instead
 of being disturbed by children.
Although
 there are many benefits of letting toddlers have daily life with friends, I am of the opinion that the drawbacks are far more significant. On the one hand, kids who study in boarding schools can have more chances to improve their
interacting
Replace the word
interaction
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 skills. They might meet friends from different backgrounds who share accommodation with them,
therefore
, kids will be more confident in communicating with peer support. It is important for them to exchange ideas to figure out the problems and increase their knowledge.
Moreover
, adolescents are trained to be more independent from family.
For example
, students in preparatory school have to set their own schedules to do household chores
such
 as cleaning the floors, doing laundry and learning.
This
 is the opportunity for them to be mature at a young age as they are allowed to manage their time appropriately.
On the other hand
,
this
 trend
also
 brings some disadvantages.
Firstly
, when youth spend a long period of time away from their families, it will reduce the bonding between parents and their offspring. It is because being absent from
reunion
Fix the agreement mistake
reunions
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 and family gatherings may lead them to
a
Correct article usage
apply
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loose
Correct your spelling
lose
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 connection with their relatives and siblings.
Furthermore
, children who have introverted characteristics might have to face homesickness. It impacts tremendously the mental health of growing teenagers. They might be exposed to psychological diseases
such
 as autism and anxiety. In conclusion,
while
 it is difficult to deny the benefits of attending boarding school, I still prefer the traditional learning environment for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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youngsters.
Submitted by Mienguyen.0509 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion could be more clearly presented and should provide a stronger sense of the writer's overall viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a good logical structure and clear main points, but a more cohesive use of linking words and phrases is needed to enhance coherence.
task achievement
The essay provided a relevant response to the task, but the reasoning should be more detailed and balanced, considering both the advantages and disadvantages in a more thorough manner.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • structured environment
  • academic excellence
  • distractions
  • social skills
  • diverse backgrounds
  • homesickness
  • emotional distress
  • mental well-being
  • parent-child relationship
  • financial burden
  • education access
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